


Reluctant Heroes

by firegrilled



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5896972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firegrilled/pseuds/firegrilled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean and Armin are filling in as body doubles for Eren and Krista, but things do not go according to plan. When shit hits the fan both boys must flee and try to survive in the Titan infested territory that was once the land of Wall Maria. By overcoming the threat of being hunted down, titans, and generally trying to survive, both boys will have to grow their skills and their relationship together and ultimately find something more within each other.</p>
<p>This story diverges from the canon manga 53 where the kidnapping happens and the idea of what would happen if Jean and Armin were not rescued and forced to fend themselves in the wild.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not According to Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Can't look back, but we'll not come back  
> Can't be afraid, each time after time  
> So once again, I'm hiding in my room  
> The peaceful times are what made us bright...

“Ar- I mean Krista and Eren!” Sasha called out, not that her compatriots could hear her concerned voice. The kidnappers had come out of nowhere and grabbed Eren and Krista from under Levi’s watchful eye during a brisk stroll through Trost. The two victims did not have enough time yell before stale cloth gags were shoved into their mouths and they were pinned against the rough timber of a horse cart. As quickly as they were gagged, they found their hands and feet being bound by itchy rope.

All according to plan.

‘Eren’ shot a quick glance at ‘Krista’, finding a pair of calm and collected blue eyes staring back. Both were prepared for what would hopefully be a quick and relatively painless bait and switch mission. Find out who wanted Krista, now Historia, and Eren, discover their hide out, and interrogate them. If everything was fine, then the two Survey Corp members had their teammates tailing the cart from the rooftops.

_”I can’t believe I’m filling in for that suicidal bastard again. I don’t even look like a thing like him!_ Jean mentally cursed his luck. At least this was not his first time impersonating Eren Jaeger, not that it required any degree of skill in his opinion. Any constipated soldier could match Eren’s normal expression. Still, he knew the part so he reluctantly took it. Not like Connie could’ve done a decent job. Jean’s eyes glanced at his partner in crime, more worried for _her_ than himself. 

Unlike the abundance of options to play Jaeger, fulfilling the part of Krista needed someone small, weak in appearance, and reserved. Mikasa and Sasha both did not meet one of those requirements so using a guy became the only option, and Humanity’s Strongest tiny soldier was not an acceptable choice so Armin had the task thrust upon him. Like his teammate, he quickly accepted the responsibility but that didn’t mean everyone couldn’t tell he was nervous. But so far he remained quiet, and his one squeak sounded girly enough that Jean himself couldn’t pinpoint the gender of whoever let it slip through their lips.

Despite being freshly kidnapped, both were able to keep their nerves relaxed since the situation was still within control. However the moment of peace passed when they found themselves being shoved into burlap sacks. Darkness surrounded both, and their fear rose when the cart suddenly stopped. 

“Take ‘em now. Gimme the dummies!” Armin and Jean were passed off carefully as two loud thuds could be heard. “Hiya!” Echoes of a horse pulling a cart taking off caught Armin’s attention since neither he onr Jean were still in the rickety cart.

This was not according to plan.

“Hide them in the house until sunset, then take them to the camp.” Someone ordered.

“But that’s-”

“Reeb’s orders. Survey Corp won’t chase these brats out there.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

A creaking door followed by early darkness signaled to Armin that they were heading inside something, but the sound of echoing and descending footsteps confirmed his fear that they were being taken underground. Unease crept into his skin and dug into the nerves below it. His partner must’ve been feeling the same because the sudden sound of shifting echoed around the walls like a rock falling into a well.

“Stop moving, or I’ll gut you like the pig you are, Titan scum!” the man next to Armin cursed.

“Damage the goods and you’ll be gutted like a pig.” A voice next to Armin’s head warned.

“Says who?”

“MP. You know they’ll do it too so shut up and deal with it.”

At the mention of the Military Police, Jean froze. He knew they wanted Eren but why Historia? What was so special about the goddess of the 104th? He tried to shift his hands for the knife strapped to his inner thigh, but he should not reach it with how painfully tight his hands were bound behind his back. Giving up on making any progress, he stopped wriggling, biding his time until they could find a moment to escape.

\---

A loud grunt escaped Jean’s gagged mouth as he was dropped like a sack of potatoes on the ground with little care. Armin had a little better luck, being set down almost reverently. Jean’s eyes went wide when a knife blade appeared by his face, too close to his cheek for comfort. It cut through the rough burlap, emancipating him from his bagged prison. He was dragged over to an old wooden chair, its color faded by too many days in the sun. His arms were briefly freed, not that he made any attempt to escape, and his arms were placed by his sides as rope was laced around him. Soon he was anchored to the old chair, thankful his wrists were at least marginally more free and no longer behind his back.

Across from him Armin was getting the same treatment. Jean watched helplessly over a steady campfire as Armin was removed from his bag and placed in a similar ancient chair. Once he could see his teammate was safe, more than a little frazzled but safe, he began to take in his surroundings.

Night had already set in with the last pink of sunset starting to fade and a full moon lit up the sky. The moonlight brightened the encampment enough that Jean could see several horses tied on the borders, some with carts already attached to them and theircontants already covered. Crackling wood brought Jean’s attention to the men surrounding Armin, seemingly admiring their handiwork. At least Jean hoped they were admiring their handiwork and nothing more.

Two of the men, both bigger than either Jean or Armin backed off and talked quietly between themselves, while the last balding man lingered for a few seconds before joining his partners, tossing one last glance at Armin as he walked away. Armin visibly relaxed once they left, making eye contact with his partner. He gave a slight nod and Jean slipped his right hand into pants’, slowly picking at the lining in his pocket. His left hand dug into the other pocket and began to rub on his smooth good luck charm, steeling him for the night ahead.

\---

“Did you inspect them? We have to make sure they’re right before the MP arrive.” A newcomer ordered the three men. Jean quickly removed his hand from his pocket as one of the buff guys came over and stared at a piece of paper and them back to Jean. The balding man went over to Armin.

“He has the same pissed off look as the Titan shifter. Looks good to me.” Jean growled a bit, earning a laugh from the man. “Definitely the little shit head.”

Armin was not as lucky as Jean. The balding man licked his lips as he stared at Armin several times over, before looking at the piece of paper provided to him. “She looks as cute as her picture. I should check for more than that though.”

“Go for it, but don’t damage the goods.” Jean’s captor snorted, reminding his partner once more.

Armin began to shake as the bald man got closer, running a hand up his arm. He then got nearby, causing Armin to curl away from the man as best he could. The man’s patchy stubble scratched Armin’s cheek as he loudly sniffed the back of his neck. “Feels like a rich brat and smells pretty too. Let’s check her goods…”

A soft whimper from his partner forced Jean to look at the fire, unable to face Armin in this humiliating situation. The bald man began to undo the front of the dress. “It’s ok, pretty. I’m not gonna hurt you much.”

“Well, Mike?”

“Hold your horses!” the balding man shouted back, before returning his attention to Armin. A creepy smile appeared on his face as he rubbed his patchy cheek along Armin’s. “You see, I got a problem that you can help me with. Well, you caused it so you better fix it.”

Mike gestured to his pants crudely, placing a hand on the back of Armin’s head and forcing him to look at his crotch.

“Is it her or not?!”

“Yes, it’s her! Can I have some privacy?”

Silence was the man’s answer and he took it as his opportunity to return him attention to Armin. Jean quickly dug his hand into his pocket, finally having enough of watching his good friend suffer. He broke though the pocket lining and began to go for the knife hidden in his pants.

“That’s all we need to know. Take ‘em boys!” A new deep voice ordered. Soon a crowd of soldiers swarmed the four men and their two prisoners. In the firelight he was able to see the military unicorn emblem on the shoulders and Jean knew it was not a good sign.

“The he-” Mike began before a knife slit his throat. He fell to the ground, grabbing his throat in vain.

“Kill them and take the hostages.” The same deep voice ordered.

“Survery Corps, go!” Levi’s distinct voice cut across the sudden commotion. Soon the familiar sounds of 3D maneuver gear deploying caught Jean’s attention. Some military men closed around Jean, but the flash of a red scarf appeared over him and quickly knocked down the nearby men. The rope around his chair loosened and Jean reached fully into his pants to grab the short knife and got ready to engage the nearest solder. A firm grip on his shoulder pushed him away from the fray.

“Horse with the cart. Take it with Armin and go!” Levi ordered.

“But-” Jean tried.

“Follow orders! These men want to kill us so go!”

“What? Why? And where?” Jean stuttered out questions.

“Don’t know don’t care. They tried to eliminate us earlier. Everyone is an enemy and I can’t keep you safe right now. Just go!” Levi jumped back into the mass of fighting before answering any more questions.

Jean looked around the crowd and saw Armin slowly hopping away from the fray. He sprinted over to his friend, momentarily scaring him and knocking his chair over. Muttering a fast apology, Jean quickly cut the ropes and helped his friend to his feet.

“What’s going on?” Armin asked as Jean removed his stiff gag.

“Don’t know. Levi said to escape with the horse cart.”

“Then we run!” Armin grabbed Jean by his wrist and pulled him towards the aforementioned cart, not wanting to disobey orders during such a massive brawl. Jean hopped in the back of the cart and Armin went to untie the horse.

“They’re getting away!” Someone shouted. Not wanting to attract more attention, Armin kicked the horse with the back of his heel and it took off with Jean bouncing around in the back. A rifle landed in his lap and Jean realized there were gun supplies in the cart, on top of other survival gear and rations.

“Why is there a gun back here?” Jean questioned Armin.

“If we’re in danger and the MP are trying to kill I would guess it’s for them.”

“Shooting other soldiers?! But we’re on the same side. Right?”

A bullet flew by Jean and pierced part of the cart in front of his face.

“Probably not.” Armin answered.

“Careful where you’re shooting! The pissed off one heals but the girl needs to be unharmed!” A soldier chastised his counterpart. Jean looked over his back and saw three horsemen pursuing them.

Jean leveled his hands and aimed down the rifle, but was unable to prevent himself from shaking. “I can’t Armin, I can’t!”

“Jean, shoot!”

One of the horsemen sped up to cut off the horse drawn cart. Due to the weight of pulling Jean and whatever supplies Levi smuggled into the cart, the person quickly caught up. Jean waivered as he aimed the gun at what he quickly saw was a young woman. She pulled next to the cart and aimed a pistol at him.

“Drop your gun, shifter!” She ordered.

A sudden bump knocked Jean onto his back but he quickly sat back up. He noticed the woman’s face dropped when she saw him again. Jean rubbed his head and realized his wig finally fell off.

“They’re fakes!” The girl shouted back, taking aim at Jean’s head. “Kill on sight!”

That quickly solved Jean’s earlier question and he fell back into the cart. The woman jumped over and into the cart, cornering him. Jean prepared for the worst when he saw a flash of fear go across her eyes. A glint caught Jean’s attention and a shriek pierced the evening. The woman recoiled back and fell off the moving cart. Jean stared as her body fade slowly into the darkness behind him, unmoving.

Armin shouted as he spurred the horse on. “Jean, don’t hesitate or you’ll die! I have no more weapons.”

The thought of Armin also having a hidden knife crossed Jean’s mind, along with the realization that his friend just saved his life. “Yeah, I can do that.”

He pulled himself up cautiously as a pair of bullets whizzed over his head. He aimed the gun and prepared to fire at the men gaining on them. His finger lingered over the trigger as he aimed squarely at the man, and lowered the gun at the horse. A shot rang out and the horse crumpled and took its rider out with it. It was impossible to not hear the loud crunching sound over the shouts of pain that abruptly ended.

Another bullet whizzed by Jean and splintered the wooden cart again. The sound scared the horse and the cart came to sudden halt. Even in the moonlight Jean caught a glimpse of Armin’s dress flying over the front of the horse. “Armin!”

“Ugh. I’m fine!” his partner grunted from the ground. Jean fumbled with his gun and reloaded a bullet as the last horseman closed in. Keeping quiet, he waited for the man to slow down before firing. He could not miss the next shot.

“Did I get a two fer one?” the man laughed aloud. “Kenney is gonna promote me fer a shot like that!”

When the man came into his iron sights, Jean pulled the trigger and watched the man’s neck splatter against the evening sky, his body crumpling off his horse.

Jean threw the offending weapon into the cart, trembling as he exited it. He stumbled towards the front to try and find his friend. On the ground he found him rolling a bit in pain. “Armin?”

“It’s not broken, I think.” Armin hissed as he clutched his right shoulder. Jean offered him a hand, and Armin grabbed it with his left. “Can you take over?”

“Sure, but where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Did Levi say anything to you?”

“Don’t trust anyone.”

“Then we go into the wild. Go to the nearest forest of tall trees.” Armin concluded.

“What? Why?” Jean seemed shocked.

“Because the Titans will be up in a few hours.” Armin explained matter of factly, laying down in the back of the cart. “And get going because I don’t know if more MP will come and I can’t shoot too well with my left hand.”

“Titans? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head on the way down?” Jean asked, taking the reins and forcing the horse to go.

“We’re behind Wall Maria. They took us outside of Trost and it makes the most sense. Did you not see the walls behind us as we fled?” Armin seemed surprised.

“No, I was trying not to get caught or killed.” Jean rolled his eyes, not that his friend could see it. Navigating in the dark as best as he could, Jean guided the horse based off what he could see on the horizon in the light of the moon.

\---

Whether it was due to luck or the Wall Goddesses watching over them, Jean managed to get the horse towards a nearby forest that blackened the sky under the thick canopy of leaves. Speckles of moonlight dotted the trail ahead of him, but Jean took the cart at a much slower speed since no one had followed so far and he wanted to minimize the chance of injuring the horse or Armin further. His friend’s pained breaths were also easier to hear with the wind no longer rushing by his ear.

Satisfied with the progress they had made, Jean pulled the cart to a stop and lead the horse off the trail. If anyone were to follow them he was not about to risk being found that easily. They proceeded at a brisk but manageable pace until the sound of a stream gave Jean a reason to pause. He tied the reins to a nearby branch.

“How are you feeling, Armin?” Jean asked, finally checking on his friend in the back. He found him laying on a pile of gear covered by a tarp.

“Still sore. I think I dislocated my shoulder.” He winced as he got up from the pile.

“Come over here.”

Armin scooted slowly across the cart, trying to not get tangled in his flowing dress, and sat in front of Jean. He had already ditched his longer blonde wig.

“Remember the procedure?” Armin double checked. He cried in quick pain when he felt his shoulder suddenly popped back into place. “Ow, give me a warning next time!”

“Sorry, it’s a bit hard to forget how Eren reacted when we did it back in camp and I didn’t wanna scare you.”

“I’m not Eren.”

“Thankfully.” Jean snickered as he went to detach the cart from the horse. “You find anything helpful back there?”

“Some 3D maneuver gear, gas supplies, rations, first aid, a change of clothes, and some other supplies. It looks like he’s expecting us to be here for a while.” Armin surmised.

“Any sleeping bags?”

“Just a blanket and a note saying to survive.”

“A note?” Jean queried as the horse let out a neigh in relief.

“Yeah. It said to survive and trust no one. They’d come for us once the commotion settled down.”

Jean grumbled at the thought of having to survive in Titan territory for any period of time but if they could stick to the trees they could be fine. He returned to the back of the cart and pulled out a maneuver gear, preparing to don it for the night. Armin grabbed the blanket and some nearby rations, not questioning Jean as he squinted into the trees.

“Do you have everything? I want to only do one trip to save gas.” Jean glanced at the meager amount of stuff Armin had gathered, but seemed pleased with the choice. “Do we only have one blanket?”

“Yeah, it should suffice.” Armin confirmed matter-of-factly.

“Grab on tight.” Armin pooled all he had gathered into his left arm and curled into the guy.

“Can’t really do that,” Armin mumbled. 

Jean stiffened for a brief moment. “Oh, yeah. Sorry I forgot.”

He grabbed Armin with his left arm and shot his gear upwards with his dominant hand. Luckily sticking it in a tree on his first go, he pulled them up to a high branch, well out of reach for any titan. The branch had enough room from what Jean could glean in the moonlight, but he still did not walk too far from where they had landed. Daintily setting down the supplies, Armin let out a yawn and curled into a ball on the floor, unable to lean on his injured right arm.

Jean quickly disrobed his gear and his pants, completely uncomfortable in the rough clothes.

“Are you okay with this whole thing?” Jean questioned, motioning at the space between the two. The summer air was warm in the daylight but there was only one blanket and the evening chill was starting to be felt after the adrenaline rush died.

“Yeah. We have to conserve heat and there’s only one blanket. I hope you don’t move too much in your sleep. Eren fidgets more in his sleep than when he is awake,” Armin chuckled as he reached for the blanket. Jean grabbed it before he could and pulled it over them, settling on his side as he spaced his chest a small distance from Armin’s back.

They fell into a dreamless sleep after that, too tired from their ordeal for words.


	2. Having Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Have faith in me_  
>  Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe  
> So cling to what you know and never let go  
> You should know things aren't always what they seem
> 
>  
> 
> Have Faith in Me- A Day to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday [artsmsh](http://artsmsh.tumblr.com/)! You're getting old like all of us~

The peaceful chirping of birds roused Jean from his dreamless slumber, fooling him into believing everything was peaceful. Any such false idea left his tired head when the sounds of someone throwing up caught his attention. He quickly shifted his tired gaze around until he saw a shaking hump leaning over the edge of the branch and spilling its contents onto the forest floor below. As his faculties began to return, the shock of the previous night shot adrenaline into his veins and he began to take into account his surroundings.

He was in a treetop, well above the ground where sunlight still penetrated the leaves and dotted the ancient branch. It was big enough to move around on and long enough to set-up temporary camp, as they managed the previous night. At the end of the branch his partner was hunched over, still vomiting.

Jean pulled the blanket off himself, quietly getting up and cautiously walking over to Armin. His friend was still dressed as Krista, minus the wig. He was heaving heavy breaths, eyes focused on the forest below. “Ah… Ah…”

Trying not to startle him off the branch, Jean placed a firm hand on his shoulder, and gripped hard so Armin wouldn’t jump off like a newborn bird. “Armin-”

Armin’s head jerked towards Jean and his frazzled appearance surprised him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he kept incoherently mumbling something. However it was his eyes that made Jean’s gut sink. The normally blue and gleaming eyes were hardened and cold. “I… I killed a person.”

Repressed, or purposefully forgotten, memories of the previous evening continued to fill in the blanks. The plan, the mission, and then the brawl and chase. Jean trying to shoot a person but being unwilling to, almost getting killed by an MP woman, and most vividly shooting a man in the neck. Jean’s nerves began fraying thinking about it, but he kept a calm façade since one other memory provided some comfort.

“You saved me.”

“But… I stabbed a person.” Armin’s eyes fell back to the branch and he immediately started heaving again, but nothing came out. His dried coughs only contributed towards Jean’s guilt and desire to join in. Armin’s tears splashed on the bark, next to bits of splattering stomach acid dribbling down from his mouth. “Were they… a boy or girl?”

Jean thought about telling him the truth, but even his foggy mind couldn’t exactly recall everything. “I don’t know. I just have the sound of the guy I shot echoing in my mind.”

Armin paused and glanced once again at Jean. His friend was shaking, his honey colored eyes dilated as he replayed the moment in his head like Armin was doing. Both were guilty. Both took people’s lives, fellow soldiers’ lives. Yet they each saved a life. They saved each other’s’ life.

Jean sat down next to Armin’s shivering frame, joining his partner in processing what had happened the previous evening. They bumped shoulders as they thought it over, not feeling any less guilty about the actions they had committed but well aware of what they succeeded in doing so.

\---

“Do you want a bite?” Jean questioned as he nibbled on some rations that Levi had smuggled into their cart and Armin retrieved before crashing.

“No. I don’t think it’d stay down,” Armin rejected, staring at the forest still.

“Fair enough. Did the note say anything about how long we need to survive?”

Armin slipped his good hand into his skirt and pulled out a crumpled paper, handing it over to Jean. He quickly read it over but found it to be as useless as the advice given to him before. No time, no dates, no specifics. Just to survive and trust no one.

“We don’t have more than a few days’ worth of rations either.”

“What?!”

Armin shrugged his shoulders, wincing slightly at the pain. “You saw what we managed to secure before the mission, there wasn’t much.”

Jean wanted to shout again but he recalled what meager supplies they unloaded in the abandoned farm before the mission. That was their sorry excuse of a hideout while they tried to accomplish Erwin’s mission. “Then how are we going to survive out here? It’s going to take more than a few days to overthrow the imperial government.”

“Hunting supplie,.” Armin infirmed him. Jean cocked an eyebrow as he waited for more information. “There were fishing and hunting supplies in the cart. I only grabbed what we needed for last night. We’re going to need to find a place to make camp and remain hidden.”

“But where?”

“Not in the trees. We only have a limited supply of gas and what was provided is enough to survive but we’ll need to ration it out. I suggest some place lower to the ground and preferably only using gas to get to it.”

“If we’re going to use gas regardless the trees will-”

“Only work for so long. If a storm occurs or we roll over in our sleep we’ll plummet to the ground and either die or be titan food.”

Jean wanted to protest but kept his mouth shut, reluctantly agreeing with Armin’s outlook. He focused his energies on their other survival problem. “What about food? How good are you at hunting?”

“Besides what we learned in training?” Armin replied, watching a deer graze on the grass underneath them.

“I helped Mikasa and Eren with traps when we were little and I know how a bow works. There are two bows and supplies I can make into basic traps in the cart. Although with my arm...”

“That’s alright!” Jean quickly offered. “Sasha isn’t the only one who can use a bow. How are you feeling by the way?”

Armin finally broke away from staring at the forest to give Jean a reassuring smile. “It’s still sore but better. Thank you.”

With some semblance of familiarity returning, Jean cracked a familiar crooked grin and rubbed that back of his head. “Just doing what I can to help.”

“That’s greatly appreciated, but could you please put on some pants? We’re going to need start readjusting to being nocturnal because moving during the day is out of the question.”

Crimson immediately colored jean’s face when he realized he was still only in his shirt and underwear. Shrugging off the embarrassment, he muttered some excuse about it being warm to shift the blame. Armin knew it wasn’t the case but he chuckled at the lame display anyways. Familiarity was good and he knew they’d need it to survive being outside the walls intact. Both mentally and physically.

\---

Despite what Jean felt was a late wake-up that morning, the sun hung around in the sky for far longer than he would’ve liked. Armin spent his time observing the direction of the yellow orb from beneath the treetops and watching the movement of the titans clustering below in the forest. They paid little attention to the horse that Armin leashed to a low hanging branch the night before and barely seemed to register the two humans cooped up above.

Crowds were what drew the attention of the titans. Whether it was luck or just how far above the boys were, the titans only seemed to meander around like giants klutzes with little regard for their balance or needs.

Armin casually watched with his legs hanging over the side of the branch, spread apart slightly so a refreshing breeze could blow into his skirt. If he had one regret from the night before, it was not grabbing a change of clothes in the cart. Then again he wasn’t sure if there was even a change of clothes for him. The thought of him wearing the skirt for a longer period of time forced a sigh to escape from his mouth. He laid back to see what his partner was doing.

Unlike Armin who was patiently waiting for dusk to arrive, Jean was actively passing his time. Armin gazed through his strands of golden hair at an upside down Jean sparing with the tree trunk, similar to how Eren used to punch the walls of buildings during their time as kids before the military. Jean’s technique was more refined and he made use of his knife, pretending to hit various vital points on the trunk. His attention was 100% on the tree until his knife got stuck in what Armin assumed was the tree’s jugular based on the strike Jean performed. After taking a few minutes to catch his breath Jean felt someone’s gaze upon him.

He casually turned his head to find Armin wearing an amused smile on his face. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re hitting a tree. With a knife.” Armin repositioned himself back onto the branch and sat facing Jean.

“And?” Jean crossed his arms, his pride easily bruised.

“You got your blade stuck in its neck.”

Jean’s eyes widened and his arms dropped, hanging loosely at his sides. “How did you…”

“Technique,” Armin commented nonchalantly. “You only ever tried to throw a strike like that at Eren. Or Sasha when you caught her taking your bread.”

“Both of them had it coming!” Jean defended himself, blushing slightly at the observation. “Do you always watch me?”

His question came across more acidic than he intended, its sting causing Armin to recoil when it reached his ears. His small smile faded into an emotionless frown as he shrugged his shoulders. “I watch everyone. It’s what I’m good at and helps me prepare for the future.”

While guilt sprouted in his chest, Jean ignored a much needed apology and powered through the conversation. “What have you learned from watching all afternoon?”

Pausing to recall what he could, Armin pushed himself to his feet and retrieved the knife from the tree trunk. He placed it firmly in Jean’s hand. “Based on the sun’s movement and the fact we were in Trost I can guess we’re southeast of the wall. I don’t know how far though.”

Impressed by his teammate’s abilities, Jean pocketed the knife and clapped a hand on Armin’s shoulder. “A sense of direction is helpful. Now we just need to decide how long we need to survive.”

“Indefinitely.”

“W-what?”

The sudden reply caught Jean off guard. 

“We need to last as long as possible out here. A coup doesn’t happen overnight and Levi said not to trust anyone.”

“But they’re gonna come at some point,” Jean reasoned aloud.

Armin’s frown deepened, causing goosebumps to rise on Jean’s skin. “Maybe, maybe not. The odds of success are slim as it is, and they could very well be hung for treason. Plus how how to find us? We escaped in a rush leaving only a few bodies behind. The amount of man power, resources, and time needed to recover two measly soldiers isn’t worth it. I’m sorry but our first day on Levi Squad was also our last.”

That assessment buckled Jean’s knees and he sunk with the weight of realization upon his shoulders. “Levi said-”

“What was necessary to get us out of that situation alive. They don’t even know if we got out alive.”

“That asshole!”

Jean gripped his knife hard and drove the blade deep into the branch. His fist shook with anger as he refused to release his grip on the weapon. Armin knelt down next to him, placing a cold hand on Jean’s white knuckles. “That’s why we have to survive as long as possible without them.”

“ _What’s the point?_ We’re stranded with limited supplies in hostile territory. Sure we have the skills and limited weapons to survive for a while but how can they find us? How do we know if they even survived or succeeded in their mission?”

“We have to have faith. You never know. Do you remember our talk in the trees during our expedition to find the female titan?”

Exhaling a deep breath, Jean let go of the blade and stared Armin in the eyes. “The one about Erwin wasting lives?”

“Yeah, but my point from that conversation.”

“You never know what the result of your decisions will be or something like that, right?”

“Yes, and time doesn’t wait for you to make choices. We can choose to give up here but that’s not our way. We didn’t join the Survey Corps to do the easy route and our comrades won’t give up that easy as well. So we’ll just need to have faith they’ll survive and succeed.”

Armin’s words helped remove some of the weight from Jean’s shoulders. The tiny smile that Jean thought was gone returned to Armin’s face, further easing him. However there were still doubts in his mind. “What about them knowing about us? Or even finding us?”

“They can’t find us.” Armin concluded. Jean remained dumbfounded as to why Armin was not panicking then.

“Then how will we get rescued?”

“We won’t.”

“Armin. Please explain.” Jean’s patience was running thin from these various thoughts and his friend seemed to be taking pleasure in his suffering. 

“We’ll find them. They’ll go for Shiganshina at some point, and if they succeed they’ll launch and expedition south. We wait for one such expedition and then we meet up with them.”

Jean rolled the idea around in his head, reflecting on the various points Armin made. It solved some of the issues they had but it still had one major fault in his mind. “This is all dependent on them succeeding. Which we don’t know if and when that happens.”

“I know but it’s the best I’ve managed to come up with all day and—”

“We need to have faith.”

“Exactly. We have a choice to either die or try to survive and hope for the best.”

“Then I say we choose to survive and see where it takes us.”

“Agreed.” Armin happily chimed in, grabbing Jean’s knife again and returning it to him. Finally at peace for once, Jean returned to cutting the trunk. He didn’t mind Armin observing his moves after that.

\---

As the sun began its descent and the sky began to darken, Jean donned his 3D maneuver gear and began making trips to the cart for food and supplies once Armin told him the titans dispersed. At the cart he was able to better gauge what supplies they had: first aid kit, rope, bow and arrows, mending kit, and an assortment of materials they could potentially use for making shelter if need be. Much to his annoyance there was no change of clothes. He also found a pair of backpacks and stocked some food, rope, and gas canisters in one.

He returned to an eager Armin and laid the backpack down. “The things you requested.”

Armin opened the bag and quickly sifted through it until he noticed something was missing.

“Were there clothes?”

“Unfortunately no. I’m stuck with that suicidal bastard’s stuff,” Jean complained, missing the point of Armin’s request entirely.

“And I get to keep wearing a skirt.”

Hearing Armin groan about his clothes finally drew Jean’s notice. He looked the boy over before shrugging. “What? You look fine in that.”

“I do?” Armin seemed puzzled by that assessment. “It’s so flowy and cumbersome. I want my pants back.”

“Such a shame. You got a better figure for it than Sasha or Mikasa,” Jean further teased his friend, enjoying making him blush. Whether or not he truly believed what he said, he found joy in Armin’s flustered reaction.

“Shut up, Jean.”

“Nah, I think I like—”

“No seriously, shut up!” Armin whispered loudly as he covered his partner’s mouth with his hand. He motioned for Jean to follow him towards the edge of the branch and they looked at the entrance of the forest.

While the way they came was covered by branches and leaves, Jean could see what caused Armin to shush him. The unmistakable sound of horses clopping towards them grew louder every second and a dim orange light stood out in the darkening forest. The light grew closer and the steady clatter slowly approached. Whoever was coming was taking their time.

Eventually the boys were able to see five riders in green cloaks with hoods over their heads slowly approach. The unmistakable emblem of the Survey Corp was emblazoned on their backs. Jean beamed widely when he saw them and stood up to signal the riders, until Armin pulled him back down quickly and shook his head. Jean wanted to punch him until Armin motioned to his 3D maneuver gear. Jean glanced at his and then at the ones the riders had and his eyes widened.

In the orange glow Jean was able to see the gear the soldiers had, or rather the lack of it. The straps of the gear were present but there were no blade sheaths or anything to indicate why they would have that. When a light breeze blew passed and drew the capes up, Jean caught the glint of metal below their cloaks but not much else. Why would Survey Corp members come into titan territory without their gear?

Eventually the riders faded into the darkness of the forest. Only a few minutes after they faded, the unmistakable sound of 3D maneuver gear being fired echoed in the trees and the quiet atmosphere returned once again.

The boys looked between each other as they tried to understand what was going on. Jean broke the silence, but maintained a hushed voice. “Who were those?”

“I don’t know but not Survey Corp members. I also didn’t recognize their 3D maneuver gear,” Armin explained.

“They didn’t have any though.”

“It was below their cloaks. Whatever gear they have isn’t meant for titans and yet they’re in titan infested territory.”

“Then they’re here hunting for something. Probably us which would make them Military Police.” Jean concluded.

“Yeah. They must still think we’re Eren and Krista.”

“How do we get rid of them?” Jean wondered. “If its MP they’re great fighters and its only two of us. And your arm is still out.”

“It’s better.” Armin shrugged, flinching slightly. Jean gave him a doubtful look. “I can use a gun.”

“And risk alerting the titans?”

“There’s seven of us here now, I doubt they’ll be docile tomorrow. Besides, we don’t need to fight the MP.”

Jean quirked an eyebrow at that statement. “What do you mean?”

Armin walked over to their shared blanket and pat the spot by him. Jean stripped out of his gear and walked over to join his partner.

“If we kill them they’ll just send another squad. We need for them to stop pursuing us, plus the odds of us beating five of them are slim to none.”

Yawning loudly, Armin curled onto his side and scooted his back closer to Jean. Taking his hint, Jean rolled onto his side and curled closer to Armin. He pulled the blanket over them both and placed his hand in his left pocket. There he found his good luck charm he was looking for and began to rub it like he had done many times before. He left the polished charm alone as he tried to figure out how to fool the MP.

“Do you have a plan?” He asked.

“Of course,” Armin answered. He looked back over his shoulder at Jean, casting a wicked grin that was illuminated by the moonlight. “We die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating this much faster than I thought but procrastination occasionally leads to productivity I guess. I'm glad to hear a lot of people liked the concept for this so I'll definitely be pursuing continuing this but I won't promise weekly updates bc I am a senior in college about to get hit in the face with life.
> 
> All comments and feedback are appreciated, on here or on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Next Time: I wonder what Armin has cooking up in his noggin.


	3. Hanging the Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes  
> Or they fade away
> 
> So, let me save you  
> Hold this rope and I'll pull you in  
> 'Cause I am an anchor  
> -Panic at the Disco, Trade Mistakes

Even with Armin’s last cryptic message, Jean managed to fall asleep on the rough bark. He had been used to mattresses just as stiff in the barracks during their recruitment training. Another hard surface to recharge on; another dreamless night. He was moderately rested when a gentle shaking roused him from his slumber. Jean first registered the light purple color of the sky, then he found the soft blue hue of his partner’s eyes.

“Come on, Jean. We gotta get ready.” Armin encouraged with another shake.

“Get ready for what?” Jean yawned loudly.

“Ready to die.”

Jean’s eyes widened. The fog in his head evaporated and he stirred completely awake. Armin’s macabre statement did not match the sly grin on his face though. Jean scanned his expression and found familiar sleepless bags below Armin’s eyes. His blond hair was matted against his cheek with dirt, twigs, and leaves trying to form a nest in it. 

“Did you stay up all night planning?”

Armin shrugged his shoulders, not recoiling in pain anymore, and stared out into the trees. “I was keeping watch because whoever is here was mobilizing around the trees for quite some time before calling it quits. Planning was just an added benefit.”

Cursing under his breath, Jean threw the blanket off himself. Armin could’ve at least asked to trade standing guard in the middle of the night so he wouldn’t be drowsy during the day. If they were dealing with the Military Police they needed to be at their best. He crawled over to the 3D maneuver gear but Armin laid a hand on his shoulder.

“So you’re probably going to hate what we have to do,” Armin warned as he grabbed the knife Jean was practicing with the day before.

It was next to a pile of rope that had been cut up, not where Jean had left it. Armin was doing more than just scheming apparently.

“What do was have to do?” Jean wondered as Armin brought the knife to his left palm, quickly slicing it. Jean’s hand darted towards the knife, but Armin pulled it back.

“I needed to,” he declared. Already Jean was unsure about Armin’s actions.

Armin carefully slipped off his dress, dragging his palm along certain parts of the tattered garment. Holes and tears that formed during their escape were coated in fresh blood. Armin hissed until he was satisfied with his handwork, laying it down as he retrieved a canteen of water and washed his dirty wound. Any lingering fabric or soil washed away with the blood. His hand was wrapped in some gauze from the first aid kit.

Jean followed Armin’s lead and stood up on the branch. He noticed that his friend was already wearing his 3D maneuver gear straps under his dress. Why?

“Now strip,” Armin ordered, Jean’s eyebrows shooting straight up.

\---

This was a bad idea. It was such a terrible idea. The plan was risky, hinged on a lot of chance, and could leave one or both of them dead. Erwin would’ve been proud with Armin’s creativity since it was something so shrewd that it perfectly encapsulated every part of the Survey Corp mentality.

While swinging through the trees in nothing but their underwear, maneuver gear straps, and supplies felt refreshing yet bold considering the plan relied on stealth, Jean couldn’t shake the fear pounding at his eardrums the entire trip. The worst of the plan only arrived at the destination though: a pair of branches hanging over the main trail of the woods. One branch grew two or three meters above the other and that was where Armin and Jean carefully landed, as it was not a gigantic branch like they found the first night.

“Stay still,” Armin requested with a hushed whisper as he began tying a rope around the back of Jean’s harness. Armin kept part of the plan to himself and carried the only supply bag for his mission. Jean didn’t question his friend’s movements as the rope was slowly secured about his straps and seemingly anchored in between his shoulder blades.

“What am I even doing?” Jean let his curiosity get the better of him.

“You’re gonna play dead.” Armin opened his bag and returned Eren’s clothes to Jean. “Now I need you to get dressed. I have one more thing to tie.”

Doing as he was told, Jean pulled the dirty shirt over his head and carefully wiggled his way into the pants. It was bizarre having the maneuver gear straps underneath his clothes and they already chafed his skin when they flew to their current location.

After he finished his task, he looked over to find Armin tying a noose. “What is that?” 

“How you’re gonna die. I’m hanging you,” Armin dully explained as he finished his final adjustments, pulling the knot tightly against the branch. Armin leaned over and pulled the scratchy rope attached to his harness through Jean’s collar before he began securing it next to the rope with that was the noose.

“Wait, what?” Jean was baffled by that sentence. “You’re actually going to kill me?!”

“No!” Armin swiftly corrected. “The rope that’s tied around you will support your weight while this second rope, the noose, will hang around your neck tightly, but it’s a separate rope. If I made it shorter I guess it could kill you but I already triple checked. You should be fine.”

“Should be?” Jean deadpanned back.

“Will be. Point is you’re going to hang here playing dead until they come find you. If you act dead they’ll just grumble and leave. Now carefully slide down, we can’t risk breaking the rope.”

Despite lacking confidence in the plan, Jean did as ordered and carefully let himself down with the noose around his neck. He felt his harness pulling even more against him, just as the noose hung around his Adam’s apple. Some minor adjustments from Armin had the itchy noose pulling tighter against his windpipe. The uncomfortable straps pulled tightly against his chest, armpits, and his heels. The anchor points around his hip that normally sheathed the blades rode up his leg, but thanks to his clothes no one could see it. He just seemed like a Survey Corp member who just realized the futility of his situation and gave up. All according to Armin’s plan.

“Just hang out until they find you. When they do remain absolutely still. You’ll know when my part of the plan gets going.” Armin gathered his supplies and slid down to the branch below Jean. He went behind him and started messing with his pants.

“Hey, what are you doing back there?”

“Making it look more realistic. The knife is back here in case you need to cut yourself down.” Jean felt his backside get slightly lighter as Armin removed what he assumed was his gas tank. “You’re high enough that no titan can get you. And remember…”

“To play dead, yeah I get it. I’ll just hang around like you did when you got stuck that one time in the woods during training.”

“When it took you guys forever to get me down?”

“Yeah. No one knew your cord got stuck.” Jean snickered, the noose prickling his chin at every word. 

Armin rolled his eyes and quickly took off away from Jean. The faint sound of 3D maneuver gears started to echo around the woods so it’d only be a matter of time until someone came across him. His left hand fished around his pocket and found a smooth surface. He clutched around it as he let his body start to hang limp, eventually dropping the object back into his pocket as his hand fell out of his pants.

If it was any extra condolence for Armin, Jean knew that he would be chaffing a lot worse than Armin ever did by the time he was done hanging in the tree. Jean just hoped his friend would be alright.

\---

With the first half of his plan in motion and Jean hanging from the tree like a new recruit, Armin flew closer to the forest floor where animals and titans were roaming about. He searched for a few moments before he spotted a patch of sunlight on a bush. Determining the area was safe enough, Armin descended to the forest floor and quickly shuffled around his backpack for the bloodied dress. The sounds of 3D maneuver gears through the treetop only served to make him more nervous as he pulled out the dress, spilling some rations on the ground. He threw the godforsaken dress on the bush.

Succeeding in his job, Armin turned around to see a 3 meter class titan rapidly approaching him. Panic raced through his nerves before he got a hold of himself. He flew back up into the trees and quietly made his way above the bush. He looked over his shoulder and saw Jean hanging in the distance. He paused only a moment to wipe his sweaty palms on his thigh. So much depended on the success of him timing everything perfectly. Armin reached back into his backpack and pulled out a rifle, aiming it towards the dress.

His arm still felt sore but he didn’t need much force to pull a trigger. The spot, while closer to the ground than he liked, was perfect. Armin laid flush against the branch, hoping the leaves provided enough cover to his small and mostly naked frame. Even though using the straps without the clothes hurt, he needed to lay bait to make this plan work. Now he needed to wait for one unfortunate soldier to set everything into motion and let his plan play out like clockwork.

\---

Fear festered at the back of Jean’s mind, plaguing his thoughts. Time passed slowly as he waited for someone to hopefully find him soon. Extra time spent alone meant more time for him to focus on what could go wrong. He could get caught faking death and then really get killed. The rope around his neck might actually hang him if not careful. Or worse, Armin could get caught and Jean wouldn’t know, leaving him there alone. The last thought scared him the most. “ _Be safe, Armin._ ”

Jean could feel his limbs slowly lose circulation and his body get sore. He occasionally moved his fingers and his legs to keep blood flowing but every movement was a risk in his eyes. The rope pinned his veins in his armpits, pulled the straps taut against his chest, and made the straps around his leg rise up uncomfortably close to his groin. Still, he maintained his concentration and played dead as the 3D maneuver gear sounds grew steadily closer. He desired to let out a loud groan to at least give the Military Police a helpful hint.

“Captain, I think I got something!” a deep voice called out. The sounds suddenly drew near and the dull thud of metal implanting itself in wood meant someone anchored themselves in the tree trunk. “I think he offed himself!”

More gas hissing and metal cords flying meant more people were arriving, and Jean’s nerves started fraying from the attention. “ _This is all according to Armin’s plan,_ ” he thought to himself, trying to assuage his fears. Yet his mind ran wild with fear of what could go wrong. What if they saw the rope in his back? What if they saw past the bluff? What if they saw him moving, or worse, breathing?”

His palms sweated more and more.

“Sir,” a distant voice shouted. “I found— oh shit.” 

The small crowd around Jean shifted but didn’t leave until a gunshot went off.

“Ah— help!” the same distant voice cried out.

“That idiot. No wait!” the deep voice from before ordered, but a set of maneuver gears already took off. “Captain what do we do?”

“Follow but stay in the trees. These things aren’t meant for hunting titans.”

As if on cue, the two took off as more screams pierced the tree top. Jean dared to crack an eye. He saw two men drop their Survey Corp cloaks and fly towards the direction of the gunshot. What seemed to be far away and below on the forest floor could only be a disaster reminiscent of Trost. A group of titans were already on top of the people at the scene. Jean saw who he assumed was the captain and the man who found him stop pursuit and anchor themselves to two trees between Jean and the mess.

“You see that dress too?” One of them shouted over the screams to the other, receiving a quick nod. “That’s all we need. Find a horse and ride back to the wall, we’re done.”

“What about the body retrieval?” the other motioned back towards Jean.

“What body? The fakes were obviously eaten by titans.” His captain shrugged.

“And the others?”

“They knew the risks. Now let’s go while we have a distraction.”

The men took off in the opposite direction of Jean, leaving him hanging and far more nervous than when they first found him.

\---

As quick as the commotion occurred, quiet returned just as fast to the forest. No mechanical sounds penetrated the treetops nor did any other screams reach Jean’s ears. His ability to focus and process was all but gone. His vision swirled for the last few minutes and nausea made him want to vomit what little food he ate that morning. He finally made the executive decision to release himself from the noose.

It took a few tries before his arms cooperated with him. Blood circulating through his veins felt like pins and needles stinging every square centimeter of his skin, but he pushed his arms to slip the noose from over his head. Every movement resulted in more pain and more stress from the 3DMG harness pushing against his skin. His main worry was not his situation however.

“ _Where are you Armin?_ ” Jean wondered.

The plan succeeded in throwing off their pursuers, but at what price? Jean continued his attempt to free himself as his mind ran down a long list of possibilities.

Did Armin use himself as bait? What if he got caught? Was that his part in the plan? Did a titan catch him? Did he want to sacrifice himself so Jean could escape?

The thought of the last one made Jean’s already sick stomach burn even more. He wasn’t about to survive outside the walls on his own. Jean really did not know if he had the will to do it alone.

Still, he refused to let those thoughts hold him back and he reached to his back pocket to find the knife Armin left him. Bringing forth what strength he had left, Jean started to saw at the rope holding his harness and his weight. He desperately wanted out of hanging in the air but if he wasn’t careful he’d fall to his death. While gripping the rope with one hand, Jean’s other worked the blade. The rope slowly gave away to Jean’s efforts before all together letting him drop onto the branch below.

If Jean were or cat or perhaps Sasha he might've been able to land on his feet but he was neither of those two things. His legs collapsed beneath his weight as he landed on the branch below. Unlike the big one they were camping on, Jean landed on a much thinner branch and he simply didn't have the strength to remain upright. He felt himself turning over so he grasped at what he could to prevent himself from slipping off to near certain death.

The familiar sound of metal splintering wood caught is attention as a 3DMG imbedded itself into the trunk near Jean. Armin landed on the trunk and quickly offered a hand to his partner. Jean stretched his free arm as far as he could and tightened his hand around Armin's.

"Good job, I believe they're gone." Armin congratulated as he pulled Jean up. However Jean's legs refused to carry his weight so he fell back to the branch.

"Whatever you did worked," Jean said with a cocky grin on his face. He slowly moved his legs around as the pins and needles feeling returned. "How long did it take for you to move normally after your accident during training?"

Armin rubbed his chin and he gave a thoughtful expression. "Maybe a few minutes but Shadis kept me off training for the rest of the day. We have time though before we leave."

"Wait, what?! We're leaving tonight?" Jean exclaimed, his eyes bulging a bit. "But—"

"We have a chance to move on before they possibly realize they were fooled. We need to move to a safer location because there isn't much we can do for survival here. I've been scouting the area and there are no caves or rivers," Armin frowned, sounding melancholic at the observation. "The MP were kind enough to leave us an extra horse with supplies though."

Despite being uncomfortable with the notion of leaving immediately, Armin had found a silver lining. That brought a wave of relief crashing down on Jean, his nerves cooling at the new information. Knowing more supplies existed was good news, but seeing Armin alive and seemingly unharmed was the better news. All his more immediate fears hushed down. Armin grabbed a polished metal cylinder from the edge of the branch, bringing it over to Jean.

"Here, I can tell you what I learned when we get back." Armin offered the gas cylinder back to Jean. He tried to hook it on the back of his pants but found the anchor point to be missing. "It's... it's under your pants."

"I know, I know," Jean grumbled. You just like making me strip I swear."

Jean turned his attention to his pants, not noticing the light blush on Armin's face. "You keep telling yourself that, Jean."

\---

When the boys returned to their camping spot, they slowly removed their straps. They winced as their sensitive skin finally breathed freedom from the 3DMG harness. Jean redressed himself in Eren's attire before laying down. He let out a sigh of relief as the late morning sun shined upon his spot. He may not have been a cat but he liked to laze around like one in the natural warmth of the light.

He turned his attention to his partner who only dropped his gear and started going through his backpack. Jean noticed the prominent markings stamped on Armin's skin. They were cracked and very red. He also realized something else. "Where's your dress?"

Armin froze briefly. "Titan ate it."

Jean blinked twice before laughing out loud. "A titan did _what_?"

"A titan ate it when I used it as bait," Armin relaxed a bit at Jean's sudden reaction. 

"That was your grand plan? I get strung up and you do a bait and switch? I feel cheated," Jean cackled. "What was the rest of it?"

Armin frowned slightly as he set the bag down. "No, I just fooled one of them and the titan's came."

"Brilliant," Jean sarcastically remarked. "Great work though. Everything went perfectly."

"Yeah, perfectly." Armin sounded distant as he reflected on the plan. He paused and stared at his partner. "Jean, am I a good person?"

That caught Jean off guard. "Huh?"

Armin stiffened as his eyes dropped to his backpack. He pulled out some gas canisters that Jean didn't recognize. "Ignore that. I found these in the aftermath. Whatever system the MP was using is similar to ours but it was based on guns and not blades."

Jean sat up and inspected one of the shiny gas canisters. This gas canister dwarfed their own. "Guns? Those are useless against titans."

"Precisely. That makes me believe they were meant for humans." Armin surmised.

That caused Jean's blood to run cold. He still remembered what the MP said when they found him. "They knew we were fakes."

Armin chewed on his bottom lip as he put the gas canisters back in his backpack. "Then they were here to assassinate us. But that gear was developed before us which means they hunt humans."

"But why..."

An awkward feeling loomed over the boys as the possibilities were as grim as their situation. There was no positive way to spin the fact the MP had 3DMG meant for humans. "That is meant to counter our gear, or perhaps rogue military members."

"They wouldn't develop an entirely new 3D maneuverability gear for a few rogue soldiers."

Both boys shuddered at the implications. "I don't know where your question came from Armin, but I can say those people were not good people."

\---

Jean perused the supplies he recovered the day before for the first aid kit Levi provided. Finding what he needed, he opened it to retrieve an ointment bottle. As much as he hated the nostalgic yet sickly sweet smell of the liquid, he needed to treat their wounds.

“Armin, are you awake?”

His friend rolled over on his back, basking in the sun like Jean was earlier. “Yeah.”

“Good, sit up.”

“Why?” Armin yawned.

Jean held up the bottle. “You did more movement without any protection from the 3DMG straps so your skin needs treatment.”

A loud groan gave Jean the response he expected. “But you hung around more than I did. You’re probably more chafed than me.”

“We’re both getting treated,” Jean informed him.

Armin begrudgingly sat upright while Jean scooted over with the first aid kit and some more supplies. Jean opened a canteen and poured some water onto a scrap of cloth from the backpack. He started to rub down the deep impressions the harness made into Armin’s milky white skin. Dirt and grime came off with a little elbow grease; however Armin winced at the added pressure. Jean continued this in silence as he cleaned his entire back.

“I can do the front.”

“No, you rest.”

Armin frowned at that. He didn’t want to be treated like a helpless child, but some part of him appreciated being taken care of. He did his best to relax under Jean’s careful touch. When Jean started to wipe around areas a little more personal than Armin liked, he tried to his best to not flush red but failed.

“This might sting,” Jean warned. Armin nodded as Jean poured some of the ointment onto a cotton ball.

A low hiss escaped Armin’s lips when Jean began the long process of patting Armin’s wounds with the medicine. Unlike the harsh cleaning, Jean was more delicate and careful with this part. It was so unlike his usual temperament that Armin was bewildered. Adding more to the confusion was the surprise addition of Jean’s free hand massaging his muscles.

This continued for a few minutes as Jean carefully treated Armin’s many 3D maneuver gear wounds. Eventually Armin’ broke his silence. “Hey, Jean?”

“Hm?”

“Where did you learn this technique?”

Back in their training days Armin would help Eren and Mikasa with their early wounds as their bodies adjusted to early 3DMG training; and often they would return the favor. Eren was rough but effective, while Mikasa was firm in her treatment. Neither of his close friends ever massaged around the wounds though.

“Marco taught me.” Jean stopped briefly at the thought. Armin glanced back to see his friend staring at his pants. Jean resumed with Armin’s thigh, carefully avoiding adding unnecessary pressure. “He claimed it was more effective and honestly I felt much better, faster afterwards.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm. You had that suicidal bastard and Mikasa to help you, Krista and Ymir had each other, the titan shifters helped one another. I had Marco.”

“You guys were always together.”

Jean chuckled and set the cotton ball down. He continued massaging Armin’s legs. “We were and he taught me a lot.”

Armin nodded in agreement because that was better than any treatment he was used to. “My turn.”

“What? No. You need to catch up on your sleep if we’re going out tonight.” Jean rejected, crossing his arms at the suggestion.

“I’ll sleep _after_ you’re treated. I know what hanging that long does to a body and I know you need ointment for it.” Armin insisted, turning around to grab the supplies. “We both need to be in good shape for tonight.”

“Okay, okay.” Jean shrugged off his shirt and faced the tree. Armin began the tedious process of returning the favor to his friend. He knew he was no Marco when it came to his technique, but he was going to give it his best because damn it felt good and they both deserved a reward for surviving the Military Police.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My google history is now an eclectic mess because of this chapter and trying to find the physics of Armin's plan. It was incredibly fun to write and a lot more gay than I intended at the end, but thats the natural progression of the scenario, I swear!
> 
> Please tell me thoughts on the writing of this chapter bc I'm not sure how it came across.   
> All comments and feedback are appreciated, on here or on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/).


	4. Jeanbo and Jaeger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Feeling my way through the darkness_  
>  Guided by a beating heart  
> I can't tell where the journey will end  
> But I know where to start 
> 
> -Wake Me Up Avicii

A light nudge catapulted Jean from his slumber, his hand reaching for his nearby knife. He processed his surroundings as his hand failed to find his only self-defense weapon. Wind blowing through the branches provided the only ambiance in the strangely quiet forest, while the burnt orange hue of the sky gave the closest thing to the time of day. Armin remained silent as Jean’s eyes bounced around the forest for more details as he regained his faculties. With nothing providing an immediate threat, Jean gave his full attention to Armin. His blond partner lifted his hand to reveal the knife.

“Good thing I took this before I woke you,” Armin said calmly, offering a coy smile.

Jean shook his head as he slowly twisted his back. Wringing his pain out like water from a soaked rag, his stiff back popped with relief the more he turned. “Maybe, but be more careful next time. I don’t want to accidentally stab you.”

Armin responded by shrugging his shoulders. “Noted. But it’s time for us to move.”

Jean glanced at the sky once again, a tiny frown forming as he confirmed his earlier observation. “Isn’t the sun still up?”

“It’s setting so the titans should be resting. None have moved since I started watched a while ago,” Armin informed him. Jean’s eyes widened a bit with the new information.

“How long have you been awake?”

“…I never really slept. I’ve been thinking about our next moves and we need to leave now.”

Armin’s eyes fell to the gnarled bark of the branch they rested on. A snarl almost escaped Jean as he clenched his fists. “You were supposed to rest with me! You’ve barely slept for the last two days as is. We can wait another day if that’s what it takes for—“

“No!”

Jean crossed his arms as a finger tapped impatiently on his bicep. They needed to both be well rested if they planned to travel. “Why not?”

“We don’t know if the plan was enough to convince the MP we are dead. As a result we need to put as much distance between them and us to be safe.”

“I hung myself and you’re titan chow as far as they are concerned,” Jean rubbed his head. “Otherwise there was no point to go through all that trouble this morning. Unless you just really wanted to fly around half naked to scare titans.”

“I… that’s not…” Armin flushed red as he pulled the blanket over his mostly bare body. “I’m trying to get us to safety.”

A few seconds of silence allowed Jean enough time to cool his head. He released his anger with a sigh and his face became full of concern.

“I understand but we’ll never be truly safe out here in titan territory. Between the MP hunting us, limited supplies, the titans, and usual dangers of being in the wild, it’s incredibly dangerous to be woozy or remotely tired out here,” Jean explained. He pulled a boot off and flipped it over to empty the dust and twigs from inside it. Pulling it back on, he got to his feet and continued stretching his arms. “Let’s go so you can rest more tonight. Err- today. Whatever this new time schedule is.”

Armin snorted at the little bit of confusion. “Fine. I know where the MP left their horses and supplies behind once they left. We can stock up there and head out. The forest should be safe now.”

Jean donned the harness for the 3DMG as Armin told him the next steps. “Is your shoulder healed enough to guide the horse, Armin?”

His partner nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then you drive the cart to the horses. I’ll ride in the back with the gear on in case any titans get any stupid ideas like eating you.”

“Thanks,” Armin laughed again, plastering his best fake smile for the oncoming trip.

\---

Despite Jean’s reservation, Armin’s prediction of little to no titan activity ultimately won out. The cart ride was silent due to Jean’s vigilance and Armin being lost in his own thoughts. A few titans remained scattered below the green canopy of the trees. None budged or even acknowledged the two Survey Corp members as they rode to a destination only Armin knew. Jean’s doubts were erased when a horse neighing pierced the quiet evening.

“There,” Armin pointed off to Jean’s right. Towards the edge of the forest, three horses were tied to branches and locked firmly in place. Next to the horses were some discarded backpacks lying scattered on the ground as well as the burnt remains of a campfire. Armin guided the horse near the camp while Jean released his gear from his straps and let them fall into the cart.

Hopping over the edge of the stopped cart, Jean examined the backpacks for any supplies. Armin tied the horse up before joining in the camp exploration.

His careful eyes absorbed as many details as they could before they faded into the night with the dying sunlight. Multiple horseshoe prints running off north, random supplies scattered in the dirt, and unreleased horses confirmed Armin’s suspicion.

“They ran off in a hurry,” Armin concluded as he walked slowly towards the horses. They reared a bit as he approached, but his open stance stopped the whinnying. His next steps were cautious before he approached them further.

“Why would they leave all this behind? They could’ve just waited until the night like we did,” Jean queried as he took the three leftover backpacks and chucked them on the rickety horse cart. He turned around to look for anymore more useful items.

“Most horses can outrun titans,” Armin stated. He held a careful hand up as he approached the first horse. It pulled back for only a moment until Armin paused. “There there… If they had no one to wait on, it’s simply a quick sprint to the walls. No one would question MP’s arriving from outside the gate.”

Jean hummed in agreement as he surveyed the area. He ignored Armin’s sounds as he tried to befriend the horses. The search seemed like a futile endeavor until Jean found some silver canisters around the base of a tree. He looked up and saw a backpack tilted over on the branch. He returned to their horse to recover his 3DMG and shot up to the branch. “I found more of those gas canisters. They brought a lot a long.”

“Perfect,” Armin smiled as the horse nuzzled his hand. Jean looked below towards his friend. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face as Armin seemed more than pleased with the horse’s reaction. The boy had a way with animals. “Take them. We’ll need as much fuel as possible to survive out here.”

“But they’re a different than ours,” Jean reminded him before dropping to the floor below to gather the remaining canisters.

“True, but we’ll figure something out. Gas is impossible to find out here so it’s too valuable to leave around. Isn’t that right, Jeanbo?” Armin cooed at the horse.

“ _Excuse me_?” Jean froze immediately, almost dropping the backpack. He spun around on the heels of his boots to deliver his puzzled expression to Armin.

“It’s his name,” Armin happily informed Jean, gesturing to the horse. “At least I think it is. It’s written on his tag.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jean replied, his shoulders dropping.

“Nope. I’m gonna take him.”

“ _Why_? We got a good horse right here,” Jean threw a thumb over his shoulder back at the cart.

“There are more positives than negatives for acquiring another horse. It’ll make exploring and travelling easier. Besides, I’m not going to leave these poor animals tied up.”

Shaking his head in defeat, Jean returned to depositing the gas canisters into the cart. “I wasn’t saying leave them tied up. But fine, release them so we can go. I don’t know how far the next forest is and we gotta make some progress tonight.”

Armin strolled over to the other two horse, unsheathing his knife. They reared up as he approached, but calmly raised a free hand. This did little to settle the frenzied creatures, so quickly cut the reigns tying them to the tree. The two liberated horses ran off into the night. With the last horse, Armin took his time to untie the reigns. Jeanbo whinnied when it came loose at last, but thankfully didn’t bolt away. Armin led him over to Jean, who eyed the horse warily.

“I think we’re good to go,” Armin announced, pulling himself onto Jeanbo’s saddle. His vision suddenly blacked out as some cloth landed don his head. “What the?”

He pulled the cloak off his head to start figuring out what hit him, only realizing what he held once the familiar wings of freedom emblem appeared.

“I found some cloaks in their supplies. These might’ve been to fool us before but they are who we are. Plus you need to wear something besides underwear.”

“Thanks…” Armin muttered as he fastened the cloak around himself. The itchy material provided a much needed barrier for the wind, and a calm reminder of who he was.

\---

With the weight of the new supplies combined with the gear Levi managed to stash for them, the cart moved much slower than the new and unencumbered Jeanbo. Armin practically ran laps around Jean as they crossed into the open the prairie. Jean kept close watch on the road ahead. While they rode on a former path, it still hadn’t seen maintenance in almost five years so it still had its bumps. Unconstrained by the road, Armin explored well ahead of Jean, only returning to share interesting sights or simply to show he was still alive.

Despite the horrid situation they were in, being able to ride in the open with no fear of titans brought a sense of nostalgia. Not necessarily pleasant memories, but arguably better times. Learning the basics of horses, training, and titans back underneath Shadis. The chance for a comfortable life, to dream for a better future. It definitely was an improvement on their current predicament. But those dreams died in Trost in a pyre unnoticed by the higher ups. Only the 104th really understood Jean’s hope and dreams gone up in smoke. His eyes fell to his pants pocket for a few moments.

The journey remained moderately silent, only the sounds of clopping and squeaking wheels announcing their presence. Time was a concept lost unto the pair. Treetops broke the dark horizon, flooding Jean and Armin with a sense of relief. Armin whipped his reigns and sped off to continue scouting. Patiently waiting for his return, Jean kept an eye trained for Armin’s cloak and his ears open for the sounds of Jeanbo.

His patience was rewarded as he heard Armin approaching. To his surprise though, Armin appeared to be on a collision course with him so he stopped. “What’s the big idea, Armin?”

Jeanbo came to a rest in front of Jean. “I found a house.”

“And?”

“Let’s check it out. Although it’s outside the woods,” Armin frowned, already expecting Jean’s reaction.

“Why? We can explore it tomorrow night. Let’s reach the forest and rest up.”

“We have to keep moving to—“

“No, we don’t,” Jean snapped, cutting Armin of. “We can take a day to recover and we can play it safe. We’ve tricked the MP twice and put two days’ worth of travel between us. I’m exhausted and I know you’re not much better. To the woods, now.”

Through the darkness Jean couldn’t really read Armin’s expression but it had to be somewhere between hurt and annoyed. Still, Armin didn’t argue and resumed the trot back to the forest. The remainder of the trip was silent, as the danger of the open field gave away to the safety of the trees. Armin left Jean in the dust and already found a suitable tree to set up camp. By the time Jean arrived, Armin had Jeanbo tied was leaning against a tree.

“This should suffice,” Armin spoke flatly, grating Jean’s nerves a bit.

“Thanks for waiting,” Jean sarcastically remarked as he stepped down from his horse. Armin unhitched the cart as Jean tied his horse near a grassy spot by Jeanbo.

Armin equipped a harness and grabbed some supplies. He emptied a backpack that Jean’s found earlier, inspecting the content. Rather than refill it, he dropped it into the cart before shooting up into the tree. Donning his own gear, Jean flew up to find Armin curled underneath his cloak.

“Want to share a blanket?” Jean offered, surprised at how weak his voice appeared.

“No, this is fine,” Armin replied.

Instead of arguing the point, Jean wrapped himself in the itchy fabric. His earlier nap prevented him from falling under right away, but the crickets below helped ease him into a light slumber.

\---

_“What do you want to do when we’re in the walls?” a cheerful voice asked Jean._

_“Live in comfort, duh,” Jean retorted, as if it were plain as day._

_“But, what about outside the walls?”_

_“You mean with the titans? There’s nothing out there,” Jean snorted._

_“Aren’t you in the least bit curious? I heard Eren and Armin talking about it.”_

_“We both know that’s forbidden talk. If that suicidal bastard and his patsy wanna get in trouble, that’s not my business.”_

_“Think of all the possibilities. Things we don’t know. More fertile lands, taller mountains, vast lakes, all the places you can pee,” the faceless voice listed off._

_“Huh?”_

_“You need to pee. Wake up!”_

Jean’s eyes shot open as an intense need from his bladder drove him from his pleasant dream. He carefully got to his feet, careful to walk around Armin’s cloak as he tried to approach the tree trunk. He flinched when he stepped right on the fabric, holding his breath as he prepared for Armin to pop awake. To his relief no such event came to pass. Reaching his destination, Jean undid his pants and aimed for the forest below. His mind emptied its thoughts as he emptied himself. He briefly glanced back at Armin’s resting body as the moonlight appeared from behind the clouds. His relief faded quickly as he saw no Armin underneath the cloak. His eyes looked down, instantly afraid Armin had rolled of and now he was pissing on his friend’s body.

Unable to see through the pitch black of the forest, Jean’s turned his increasingly panicked mind to the branch. Taking note of anything else missing, he noticed Armin’s 3DMG also gone as well as a harness. So he didn’t fall. A second sense of relief swelled inside him as he realized he wasn’t peeing on his friend’s body. “Where the hell did he go?” It took a minute but Jean’s quickly put together the most reasonable answer to Armin’s disappearance. “Oh that idiot.”

Dressing in 3DMG was second nature at this point for Jean, even in the dark. He suited up and dropped to the forest below. The final confirmation to Jean’s fear came when he found Jeanbo missing. Armin really was Eren’s best friend.

\---

Jeanbo trotted to a halt near the run down shack next to the bigger cabin that Armin spotted earlier. Armin stepped off his new horse, rubbing a hand along his mane. Upon closer inspection the cabin was a bit larger than Armin had anticipated, and finding the shack next to it offered extra an opportunity for scavenging. He tied the reigns to a nearby post. Shivering under the cool evening breeze, Armin sped towards the cabin.

Inside he found a snapshot of a cabin untouched by time. Cobwebs and dust covered most surfaces so Armin approached a closed window. It took a few attempts but he managed to budge open the rusty shutters with his shoulder. The moonlight illuminated the room to reveal plates, silverware, and a half burned candle. Next to the candle lie a box of matches, thankfully not empty. He took the box and candle to the window, blowing the dust outside.

The dust lingering in the air had him coughing when he accidentally inhaled some. As he regained control of his breathing, he pulled out a matchstick to light the candle. With a flick of the wrist new light was given to the room. Armin took a careful glance for anything out of the ordinary, but was infinitely thankful when nothing odd appeared. Nothing macabre lying about. 

A simple wood stove in the corner, a large bed in another, a table and matching dinnerware on top by the stove, and some counter space with cabinets for food. Next to the bed was a nightstand and a trunk at the foot of the bed. Whoever had lived here seemed to have a simple life. Perhaps a farmer or hunter.

Before his thoughts could return to dwelling on humans, he turned all his attention to scouring the drawers around the counter. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping to find, but maybe something of use could be salvaged and stuffed into his empty backpack. As he rifled intently through the drawers, his eyes began closed. It wasn’t until his head almost hit the drawer that he realized how exhausted he truly was.

“Can’t stop. Have to keep going. For our sake. For Jean’s sake,” Armin spoke to himself, doing his damnedest to not pass out. He could rest in the trees tomorrow. Or another day. When they were out of danger.

His search did turn up some positives though. A few canned goods were stashed under one of the counters so Armin set them on the table by the matchbox. Fire was important and so was food. A quick glance over his shoulder brought his attention to the trunk by the bed. The stray thought of clothes sounded incredibly appealing. Wearing the maneuver gear harness without clothes already took its toll on his milk white skin.

Armin took the candle with him, his eyes trained on the trunk. As he cracked open the chest, his stomach sunk. The very first piece of clothing was a white dress. His hands trembled as he pulled it up, letting it unfold as it rose. The trunk did an excellent job keeping it in clean and not dusty. Crease lines were etched into the fabric due to time and nonuse.

“Of course it had to be a dress,” Armin stammered, clutching it close to his chest. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he fell to his knees as he finally let his thoughts swallow him whole.

How many people had he killed? Three, four now? He honestly couldn’t keep track. Sure he had only plunged the knife into one directly, yet he only laid the trap for the MP back in the forest. He only needed to wound one to attract the titans. He couldn’t be blamed for the teammates’ suicide rescue attempt. At least, logically he couldn’t blame himself. The bloody red and white dress he sacrificed was a testament to how far he was willing to go save himself and Jean. Although Jean really deserved all the credit by willing to risk hanging around a squad of the government’s finest soldiers in an attempt to fool them. But the ruse worked.

But Jean was also right that they weren’t good people. The new 3DMG that they were using, the Survey Corp cloaks, all the evidence pointed to them trying to locate and eliminate the pair. He shouldn’t have been having the nightmares nor the guilt wracking his brain. Yet the thoughts of plagued him.

His grip loosened on the dress, letting it slide to the floor underneath its own weight. A feather light touch sprung Armin from his thoughts and into the trunk.

“Whoa, calm down. It’s just me,” Jean whispered, his hand let go of Armin’s back.

Armin pushed himself out of the clothing heap, coughing a bit from the sudden inhaling of fabric.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Armin asked. His eyes darted back to the candle to make sure it didn’t tip, before darting back to Jean.

Jean hovered behind him, his hands crossed over his chest with worry written on his face. He had donned his full 3DMG and dressed in Eren’s clothes again. Once it became clear Armin was not scared to death, Jean’s expression shifted from nervous to nonplus. “I should be asking you that. I said we could explore here tomorrow after you rested.”

“But we have to—“

“No, we don’t. In fact, we’re gonna stay put tomorrow because Jaeger is exhausted,” Jean informed Armin, ignoring the puzzled look on his face. “The horses are exhausted as are you.”

“Jaeger?” Armin wondered aloud.

“Yeah, my horse. If yours gets a name then so does mine,” Jean stated. His face flared a bit at how childish it sounded, the darkness hiding it from his friend.

“Jeanbo isn’t my horse. He’s our horse,” Armin quirked an eyebrow. Was Jean angry about the new horse for some reason?

Rather than dwell on naming semantics, Jean focused on the issue at hand. “I had to take a wicked piss and when I thought I stepped on you, turns out you were gone. Along with Jeanbo.”

“I thought I could scout the cabin and be back before morning. I can sleep during the day.”

“Bullshit,” Jean scoffed at Armin’s blatant lie. “You don’t sleep too much during the day and you’ve been unable to even get a wink of it for the last two days. I understand planning but you’re not well.”

Amin returned to fumbling through the trunk, distracting himself from the conversation and his treacherous thoughts. A few more women’s clothes finally gave away to some pants and shirts. Unfortunately they were too small for him based off initial inspection.

“I can rest when we’re safe.”

Jean dropped his gear on the floor. Armin jumped at the sudden noise yet he kept his eyes trained on the clothes. Since he was already there, Jean stepped towards the nightstand to search through it as he continued his investigation. He pulled out some books, placing them on the floor. “What’s on your mind?”

“Pardon?” Armin paused his search at the seemingly random question.

Pulling an Armin, Jean didn’t face him as he continued the conversation. “I saw you collapse earlier when you opened the chest. What’s eating you up?”

“Am I so easy to read?” Armin chuckled. He resumed his search, setting some blankets out next to the trunk.

“Not to read, no. But it’s plain as day to see something’s the matter. And it’s not being stranded in titan territory.”

Armin hummed as he tried to think of the best way to describe his dilemma. Being eaten without their friends knowing definitely bugged him as well as about being in titan infested territory. However that wasn’t what was keeping him up at night. “The choices I’ve made.”

“Over the last few days? Or being Jaeger’s best friend? Because that second one should’ve been obvious a long time ago,” Jean teased. Armin chuckled once more. He felt his hands clawing at the bottom of the trunk, his search complete.

“The people we killed. I keep wondering if it was necessary,” Armin pushed his hands on his knees to help himself back to his feet. Content with watching Jean finish with the nightstand, Armin sat on the bed. Immediately he regretted his choice. The mattress felt like heaven after so many nights on gnarled bark and branches.

“We did what we had to survive. And they were trying to kill us. We both saw the MP’s actions firsthand. I heard what they said once they thought we were dead. The choices we made kept us alive. If I had to make those tough choices again under the same circumstances I’d do it in a heartbeat to keep you alive. Us alive,” Jean ranted, correcting himself at the end. Secretly he hoped Armin didn’t notice the mix-up.

Unaware of Jean’s word choice, Armin fell back onto the comfort of the mattress as he absorbed those words. “I thought to see the outside world we’d only have to fight titans. I understood the sacrifices Commander Smith had to make in order to achieve these goals. But I never prepared myself to fight ourselves for humanity’s sake. Killing humans.”

“Remember way back when you said those who can’t hope to gain something without being willing to sacrifice everything? Unfortunately that’s us now. In order to live, we’re going to have to give up a lot of things,” Jean claimed as he shut the last drawer, taking his findings to the table in the corner of the room. On his way back to Armin he opened another window and grabbed a blanket from the pile on the floor. “Just like how you had to give up your modesty these last few days to survive.”

Armin blushed at the accusation. “I don’t enjoy this.”

“Really?” Jean said, disbelief evident in his tone. “You went through an entire chest of clothes and chose to go to bed in nothing but three day old undies. I think you enjoy feeling liberated.”

Before Armin could deny anything, he heard a blanket opening overhead. It drifted down and slowly covered him. “What are you doing?!”

“Getting you into bed. Don’t think I can’t see you dipping out,” Jean smirked until a yawn escaped him. He took off his boots as he climbed onto the bed. “Show me your feet.”

Armin complied and stuck his boots out from under the covers. Jean carefully removed them. He joined Armin under the sheets, lost in the bliss of the mattress. “What about—”

“Shh! No more worrying. Don’t question the hard choices we’ve made, don’t question the ifs. We’re here now and nothing will change that. We need to rest if we wanna survive this together,” Jean reassured Armin, bringing an arm over his partner’s chest. Armin practically squeaked when he felt himself being pulled against Jean’s chest. “You’ve protected me and I swear I’ll protect you no matter what.”

Despite many internal protests, three days’ worth of exhaustion finally caught up with Armin. His heavy eyelids sunk under the weight of slumber. He gave into his desire and embraced a thoughtless and dreamless sleep.

Resting on the mattress in Jean’s embrace provided the best comfort Armin experienced since they went on the lam outside the wall. If he could remain in that moment forever, he would. He truly wanted to. But like all fleeting moments of the world he had to wake up from his bliss eventually. What he didn’t prepare for was the giant titan eye peering into the cabin when he awoke in bed by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but graduation and the job hunt kept me busy but here's the next part. I hope the pacing and everything was to everyone's liking because I've been critiquing the hell out of myself over this chapter. The next part should be an adventure with the titan.
> 
> As always, thank for reading! I thrive on comments and feedback so please drop a message here or on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/)!


	5. Simple and Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Whatever lies beyond this morning  
>  Is a little later on  
> Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
> Nothing's like before_
> 
> -SImple and Clean by Utada Hikaru

Though a dreamless and dark slumber, it was a peaceful sleep for Armin. For the first time in days his thoughts weren’t preoccupied with what he had done or what he’d have to do in order for him and Jean to survive. Even if just for a moment, he was at peace in the present. But like all good things his slumber came to a crashing end. Well, an earthshaking end.

It started as a slight tremor that echoed through the darkness of his mind, just enough to stir but not wake him. What roused him from his peace wasn’t the shaking or the guilt from before, but the slow sinking feeling that someone or something watched him. He felt like a specimen under a microscope being observed by something great but unknown. When he managed to crack his eyes to see what brought this feeling of unease upon him, he saw through the window of the cabin a giant and unnerving eye.

His blood froze as his mind, body, and muscles ceased to function. In the comfort of a stranger’s bed he lost any sense of safety at the sight of this giant titan’s eye. The urge to scream rose from his lungs, but only choked noises could be dislodged from his throat. Armin’s eyes darted to the center of the room for anything that could help him, but no such luck. It’s not like a dinner knife could pierce of the neck of whatever behemoth was staring at him. The next thought that crossed his mind was his partner who should’ve been next to him. His hand reached for the spot near him but only found cold fabric under his hand. As fear seized him, his hands clamped around the fabric underneath them. Armin’s knuckles turned white from the pressure. The titan pulled back and some more pounding echoed around the cabin, shaking dust from the rafters.

Armin didn’t realize he was shaking until another loud crash startled him from his fear. He collapsed out of the bed, accidentally tangling himself in his sheets. He scrambled to get free yet he only made his situation worse. It wasn’t until the door cracked open to reveal a fully dressed Jean that Armin’s fear began to subside.

Jean strolled in, covered in flecks of red with steam coming off his torso. From behind more steam could be seen blowing in the wind. As Armin’s eyes took in the details and his mind began to slow down from processing at a million miles an hour, Jean cracked a cocky grin.

“What? I said I’d protect you,” Jean spoke with the utmost confidence.

“B-b-but we’re out in the open,” Armin immediately responded. As he began to process other facts it hit him again. “Oh shit, we’re in the open!”

“Yeah. But don’t forget I was the best of top ten of the 104th. Who wasn’t a titan shifter or Mikasa Ackerman,” Jean bragged, pointing his thumb at himself.

Armin nodded as he swiftly agreed with the statement. He carefully unwrapped himself from his blanket trap. “True, but we gotta get out of here before more come.”

“The let’s go now. We can return tonight since Jaeger and you still need your rest,” Jean sheathed his blades.

Biting his lip, Armin still struggled to gather some more supplies in his backpack. He even grabbed some of the books Jean had set aside before into his backpack. Jean frowned slightly at Armin’s lack of self-preservation in that moment, but returned to a neutral expression when Armin turned his attention to inspecting his savior. Under Armin’s intense gaze Jean felt his stomach flutter a bit.

“Let’s go,” Armin finally spoke, almost surprising Jean.

“Aren’t you forgetting to grab some clothes?” Jean pointed to the heap lying next to the trunk. Armin peaked over his shoulder and let out a sigh.

“They’re either too small or girl’s clothes.”

“Just take the damn dresses, Armin,” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Armin begrudgingly groaned. While his picked through the pile for the least atrocious or guilt inducing dresses, he offered Jean some more advice. “You might want to zip your fly up too.”

Jean’s face immediately flushed as he stared at his pants. “What? Oh crap.”

Armin smirked as Jean struggled to with his pants, more than embarrassed with the observation.

\---

Much to Jean’s relief, the journey back to the forest was relatively painless. No titans were spotted walking along the forest edge thankfully. Jean spent his time watching for hulking beasts or any aberrant titans. Both boys managed to successfully arrive, tie up the horses, and retreat to the treetops without any issue. Once they reached the giant branch, Jean fell onto his butt and took off his gear. Armin chose to fall to his knees and start sorting through his backpack. He allowed his attention to be absorbed by the new materials.

Jean carefully watched as Armin unpacked the clothes, supplies, and new books that he brought back with them. A smirk came to his face as Armin stared in between the dresses, unable to pick one. Rather than make a decision he set them aside in favor of analyzing the cans he stuffed in his backpack before leaving. A loud growl broke the silence and would’ve had Jean laughing if his stomach didn’t return the call.

“Did you bring any rations up here?” Armin asked as he returned the cans into his backpack.

“Nah but I still have some up here from last night,” Jean answered. He crawled past Armin to reach his blanket. He unwrapped a cloth to reveal some undeniably stale bread. “Here.”

Armin took part of the bread, restraining his desire to scarf it down in one bite. Instead he nibbled at the edges. “We’re gonna need to start hunting soon. We only have enough rations for a few more days if we pace ourselves. Or our bodies will start digesting themselves.”

“Cheerful,” Jean commented dryly as he took a big bite of equally dry bread. “I wouldn’t mind having some variety or meat again. This stuff is disgusting when its fresh, let alone after this long.”

“Also true,” Armin hummed as the thoughts he procrastinated returned to him.

His eyes fell to the uncomfortable tree branch and a shiver ran though his body. While he still suffered from the chaffing of the harness, his back and arms were also littered with bruises from sleeping on such a hard surface. The previous night reminded him of so many things he yearned for: a comfortable bed, shelter, and routine. They couldn’t keep running forever. If their bodies didn’t give out, their food supply would.

“You said you could make traps, right?” Jean spoke through his stuffed mouth.

“Chew your food first, Jean,” Armin chided his friend. “But yes I learned how to from training and when I was a kid. Sasha also taught me how to use a bow. So we can use that too. A gun would only serve to attract the titans.”

“We all had bow training, remember?” Jean rolled his eyes at the unpleasant memories.

Armin nodded mindlessly, still taking his time with his meal. As he tried to think of the best means of survival, a stray thought escaped him. “I want a bed.”

Not realizing what he just admitted, Armin jumped a bit when Jean began howling with laughter. Armin clamped his mouth shut while Jean clutched his sides, head held high as he ungraciously snorted. A little red came to Armin’s cheeks. After a few moments Jean began to calm down and regain his composure.

“I-I’m sorry. But that was priceless,” Jean wiped away water from the corners of his eyes. Armin scoffed, returning to thinking internally about their options. “But I agree, a bed would be awesome. And a place to stay.”

A few moments passed as Armin reflected on Jean’s words. “That’s what I’m thinking. We’re gonna need to make a base of operations. We can’t keep running forever.”

“Yeah. We need a titan-proof place to sleep and hunt,” Jean crossed his arms, momentarily glancing at his pants.

“Not only that but with water and shelter for the horses. Tying them up at night is dangerous. Our time is running short though. The full moon which has been guiding us is fading so we’ll be stuck somewhere soon whether we want to or not.”

“Shit, I haven’t thought about that. It’d be easier if we had some idea of where to go,” Jean scowled. He dug a hand into his left pocket to retrieve its contents. “So what do we need? A cabin in the mountains?”

“That’d be ideal but I doubt we’d be so lucky. We could always make some shelter or find a cave. Mountains would be ideal because the freshest waters come from the peaks,” Armin continued that train of thought.

“Easier said than done since we’re only speculating. Are we just going to happen on a mountain because we’re basically travelling blind,” Jean rubbed a white rock in between his fingers. The object glided around his hand with ease.

Armin picked up a book next to him and opened it, reaching around to pass it on to Jean. He didn’t take notice of the object Jean played with. “I believe this solves that problem.”

Jean stopped what he was doing and pocketed the white rock. He pulled the book onto his lap, smiling when he recognized the page it was on. “That’s quite helpful.”

On the tattered page a map of the walls was drawn with notable landmarks and cities. While the northern part of the walls remained largely blank, the southern portion had much greater detail. The best detail was the giant X near a forest in the south. Armin’s finger pointed at that mark.

“I’m willing to bet that’s the cabin. And if we travel along here, that’s an ideal place,” Armin’s finger followed a road through the forest and towards the east. If the map they had was correct, they were already on the southeast side of the wall. A little more to the south and passed a village sat another forest with some mountains drawn in it.

A tiny smile formed on Jean’s face. “So we have a goal?”

“Possibly. It’s the best bet we have and there’s a lot of potential things we could find in that village. I don’t see anything about water but if there’s a village that close to a forest there must be something that sustained life. I’m willing to bet a river or a mountain stream if we’re lucky. And it’s only a night ride or two away.”

“Sounds viable. In three days we’ll see,” Jean pushed his hands on his knees, forcing himself up. Armin noticed Jean pulling his knife from his pocket and spin towards the tree trunk.

“We’ll have no choice regardless. Our food will be running but by then and moonlight will also be fading. We can only afford to rest tonight,” Armin warned Jean.

Jean shrugged at the thought as he readied his fighting stance with his knife. “Then we go back to the cabin tonight on Jeanbo to recover whatever else we can. Hell, we can even rest a bit there and return before sunrise.”

“That’s fine. Your hor- I mean Jaeger needs some rest anyways. He seemed tired on the trip back today,” Armin noted. “Also watch out for the tree’s jugular this time.”

A sideways glare from Jean got Armin chuckling as Jean began his practiced assault on the tree. “We’ll bring on backpack then. That should be enough for anything we left behind. Did you check out that shack looking thing next to the cabin?”

“No, but I suspect it might be a toolshed or smoke house. That cabin couldn’t have been used year round.”

“Ok, we’ll explore that too tonight. I did see a spigot outside when I slayed the titan. Let’s bring all our bottles just in case we can refill our water. We’re bound to be running low on that too.”

“Perhaps. I’ll pack somethings for tonight so we can rest and recover.”

Armin’s eyes fell to his harness wounds that likely needed a new application of the oil. He paid no attention to the dresses next to him and reached for the Survey Corp cloak that he had used as a blanket the night before. A quick but firm shake knocked off the dust and unwanted shrubbery. He clasped it around himself as he chose to lose himself in the books he found, hoping to find more useful information to help with their survival.

\---

Much like earlier, the trip back to the cabin proved uneventful. Jean guided the horse with Armin’s hands wrapped tightly around his chest. Strapped to Armin was a nearly empty backpack, though its contents remained unknown to Jean. Not that they were purposefully hidden from him but he never bothered to ask Armin, instead trusting his judgement. With the sun setting and the sky becoming a potpourri of soft pink, burnt orange, and faded blue, Jean felt comfortable leaving his gear behind and keeping Jeanbo’s load as light as possible.

Despite the lack of titans and the MP being theoretically out of the picture Jean should’ve been more at ease. He wanted to pretend that nothing bothered him that evening, but that would have been lying to himself. Something he’d been doing for the last few days. As smaller hands gripped his shirt harder, his chest tightened more. They were going to be safe; Armin was going to be safe. He scowled at the half moon hanging above, a constant reminder of the little time they had to get things in order. For tonight at least they would rest and recover.

Jeanbo trotted to a stop next to the tree Armin tied him to the previous night. Armin waited for Jean to get off the horse before following suit. He clutched his cloak as a warm wind stirred, blowing his cloak up enough to reveal his bare legs.

“Shall we split up or just gather supplies together?” Jean inquired.

“We already scavenged the main cabin but the light might reveal things we missed last night. You go check on those and I’ll investigate the shack quickly. Then we can grab what we can and leave later,” Armin instructed. He slipped off his backpack and handed it to Jean. “Leave this in the cabin. We’ll refill the water bottles once we finish gathering anything useful.”

Jean nodded at the orders and returned to the cabin. He briefly watched Armin follow a dirt trail to the shack. The door to the cabin creaked loudly, announcing Jean’s presence to no one in particular. He dropped the backpack as requested by Armin. In the corner of his he spotted the candle from before, making a beeline for it. Thankfully Armin left the matches on the table so lighting the candle proved an easy task. With silence as his only companion, Jean hummed a nostalgic tune to himself as he took a quick look through the cabin for anything Armin might’ve missed.

The tune softened his heart and while hardening his resolve. It was a simple tune that any of the cadets would’ve heard back in their trainee days yet none bothered to learn. At least Jean believed so. As much as Jean tried to live in the present his mind always reverted to the past. His past remained a constant reminder of how he became who he currently was and the choices that lead him there. Not to that cabin in particular, but to join the Survey Corp and not his original goal.

He flushed his mind once more of the potentially treacherous thoughts and focused on the task at hand. The kitchen provided little more than a jar of salt Armin missed, and the trunk had a few more dresses and blankets that could be used. While not a bed, Jean figured they could make a nest of sorts with enough sheets. Or if they made a base of operations he could create something more comfortable than a tree branch. His body ached for it.

“Oh, that could be useful,” Jean commented when he spotted the wood burning stove. Not that he was sure he had any food on him, it could be an extra source of light when the sun completely disappeared below the horizon. He surveyed the cabin in more detail looking for wood and other tools to help him in his new mission. While he found pots, pans, and even what appeared to be an oil of sorts, there was no fuel.

Jean left through the front door and traced the outside of the cabin. His mouth turned into a slight grin when he found a wood pile covered by a weathered grey tarp. He took a few pieces with him and retreated back inside.

Starting fires definitely burned as a bright memory for Jean from training. They learned many techniques for starting fires as well as the optimal wood positioning, though it wasn’t rocket science. Just airflow and something to trigger it. He piled the wood in the oven before grabbing one of the little shirts he knew wouldn’t fit Armin. Unsheathing his knife, Jean cut off the sleeve. Next he found a plate as well as the oil form before. While not a guarantee to work, it would be the easiest if it did. He placed the cut sleeve onto the plate and covered it in the mystery oil, letting it soak in for a few moments. Finally he took the candle and attempted to catch the edge of the sleeve. It popped as flames began to overtake it. Jean placed the dinner plate under the wood and waited for it to catch. If the wood was as dry as Armin’s humor, it would only take a few minutes. He was so focused on the task at hand that he missed Armin entering the cabin.

“What are you cooking?” Armin peered over Jean’s shoulder, startling him. Jean fell onto his ass, his hands quickly crossing over his chest.

“N-nothing. Just starting a fire so we can have some more light,” Jean breathed a heavy sigh. “Warn a man when you sneak up on him. That’s not polite, Armin.”

Armin chuckled a bit. “Sorry, I’ll remember that next time.”

Jean pushed himself back up, grunting at the effort. “So what did you find? Shed?”

“No, a shower actually,” Armin informed him. He walked over to the stove to look at the pots and pans. A smile crept up on his face as he turned to go to the backpack.

“A shower? Out here?” Jean quirked an eyebrow. He watched with interest as Armin began pulling cans and supplies from the backpack. “What are those?”

“Food, medicine, and soap. I was planning on using a bucket here and just dousing myself but the shower hook-up is rather cool. There’s a hose you can connect from the spigot to the shower head. Instant shower with clean water. Probably cold though so this fire will be good afterwards.”

“Medicine?” Jean leaned over by the dining table.

“We still have to treat the harness wounds but we gotta clean them up first. You can test out the shower first if you like. You’re gonna need a change of clothes though so pick your favorite dress,” Armin chuckled.

“Yeah, no. I’ll stick with Eren’s dirty clothes until we can properly clean these. Or find new ones,” Jean rejected.

“You can’t wear dirty clothes or your wounds will get infected if they haven’t been already.”

“I just need clean gauze,” Jean shrugged. “Besides, you’re the one that needs an actual dress since you’re still running around in nothing but underwear.”

“Fine,” Armin gave up. “I’ll make some dressings out of the smaller clothes. Leave your knife and go shower. There should be some towels in there but shake the dust off them first.”

“Alright, here,” Jean pulled his knife out and set it on the table. “Try not to lose it. It’s literally my only form of entertainment in those trees.”

Armin hummed an acknowledgement before starting on his new task. He zoned out and didn’t notice Jean leave to test the showers. He barely even noticed a few minutes later when a yowl came from the shower outside, proving his guess about freezing cold water true.

\---

“F-f-fire, n-now,” Jean demanded. Armin turned to see his shivering friend grasping a towel around his waist. His eyes traced over Jean’s trembling frame at the various bruises and lacerations, most near the harness impressions. At least he seemed clean.

“My turn, I suppose?”

Jean nodded as he crouched by the open flame of the oven. He paid little attention to Armin, not even glancing when his friend’s cloak dropped to the floor. “The soap and stuff are in the shower shack.”

It took only a few moments but soon Jean managed to warm himself to the point of moving. On cue, a loud gasp from outside had him laughing to himself. Armin had discovered what left him frozen. Rather than wait for him to finish, Jean tightened the towel around his waist and looked back at the cans Armin brought.

“Meat? Awesome,” Jean commented. He returned to the stove to grab the frying pan he found earlier. Setting it down on the stove, Jean found the oil from earlier and laid it out on the pan. If this oil was in the cooking cabinet then perhaps it was cooking oil.

Next he searched for his knife, moderately surprised it wasn’t found on the table. Using the light of the fire for guidance, Jean squinted his eyes for any clues. When he found a pile of cut up clothing, he approached it. Lying next to the rags was the knife.

After several stabbings Jean managed to open the can. He poured the meat onto the frying pan, licking his lips as the sizzling sound filled the cabin. He realized he was missing some important kitchenware and ran over to the counter. He grabbed the jar of salt and a fork. The lip proved as stubborn as Eren but it eventually gave away so Jean could season the food. He generously added salt, using the fork to flip and care for the canned meat. As the delicious popping sounds made Jean’s mouth water, he walked back to the counter once again to find the least dusty plate available. Just to be extra sure he wiped the bottom plate of the stack with one of the clean shirts.

As the meat finished cooking, the loud squeak of the door signaled that Armin had returned. And like Jean fifteen minutes earlier, Armin trembled all over. He parked his damp body by the stove. He didn’t even notice the smell of cooked meat or wonder why Jean was grinning with a plate in hand.

Jean gave a curious glance at the basket Armin had returned with. The cold boy was in nothing but a towel, yet he brought back the basket of towels from the shower house.

“I made food. Want some?” Jean offered as he lowered the plate in front of Armin.

Armin nodded, taking a small piece of the meat and popping it into his mouth. Jean copied him and enjoyed the first taste of meat in days. It really was a luxury, even inside the walls. A little charred, but still heavenly after so many days of rations.

“A bit salty, but delicious,” Armin commented with a content smile on his face.

“Glad you like it. But why grab the basket?” Jean spoke with his mouth full.

“More rags,” Armin curtly answered.

Jean peered into the basket and saw all the smaller towels Armin mentioned. At the bottom beneath all the fabric he saw a brush. He reached in and pulled it out, looking back at Armin. The long blond hair definitely appeared to be a mess of knots and debris, even after the shower. “Hey, Armin? May I brush your hair?”

“What?” Armin’s head turned to face Jean.

“It looks terrible. Let me help,” Jean offered, slowly picking leaves and twigs out of his hair.

“U-uh, alright,” Armin mumbled. He took another piece of meat and chewed on it to prevent himself from sounding any more embarrassed.

Jean smiled as he pulled out the rest of the big pieces of debris before taking the brush and to calmly go through the hair. His eyebrows popped up when he realized just how thick Armin’s hair proved to be. Still, he refused to be anything more than gentle and worked what knots out that he could. A small break was in order if only just to keep eating.

The two sat quietly, enjoying each other’s company. Once Jean encountered a knot that took more force than he anticipated to break, Armin let out a small yelp.

“Sorry,” Jean winced back.

“It’s… it’s alright,” Armin lied, the pain being evident in his voice. He held out his hand though. “Let me finish the rest off. I know my hair pretty well and you need to eat some more.”

Jean frowned but reluctantly handed the brush to Armin. He grabbed the plate and walked over to the table. His throat tightened while he watched Armin quietly comb his hair by the fire, a bit guilty at causing him pain. However his guilt faded once Armin rose to his feet, careful to keep a hand on his towel, and joined Jean at the table.

“Feeling better?” Jean wondered, unsure how to start conversation.

“Warm at least. Thanks for cooking by the way. That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time,” Armin smiled, warming Jean’s heart a bit. Something about that seemed different from the other ones he had been seeing the last few days. “And thanks for brushing my hair. No one’s done that since our training days.”

“Eren or Mikasa?” Jean guessed, feeling a pang of jealousy rise inside him. He snuffed the emotion away almost instantly, although somewhat confused why it appeared now.

“Both. After Trost we never really had the time between the trial and joining the Survey Corps. And when we finally reunited, we got plunged into this hell. Goddesses, so much has changed in so little time. Sometimes I miss training, if just for the fact it was better times.”

“I sometimes think the same, but this was always the reality outside of it. We knew it. That’s why I always wanted to join the MP with Marco so I could avoid this hell,” Jean recalled the bitter memories, souring his expression at the dinner table.

Armin mused in his thoughts, still mindlessly brushing his hair. “Would you go back? Even if just for a day?”

“Goddesses, yes,” Jean replied without hesitation. “Even with all of Shadis’ exercises and short fuse, I’d like to relive it just one more time.”

“Any day in particular? Learning to use 3DMG, punching Eren in the face the first time, almost kissing Mikasa?” Armin recalled what he imagined were Jean’s notable days. “Or perhaps you’d like to repeat _the night_?”

“Pft no, although that’d be a fun night to relive,” Jean grinned at the memory. “Maybe just one of those random nights closer to graduation when I knew I was guaranteed the top ten and my plans weren’t derailed by Jaeger and Bertholdt.”

“You can’t blame Eren for Trost, Jean,” Armin frowned. His hands stopped, the brush hitting another knot.

“I don’t blame him for it. I just curse his speech for convincing me to go to the Survey Corp,” Jean’s shoulders fell.

“Is that what convinced you to?” Armin forced the brush through, hissing at the expected pain.

“No,” Jean admitted as his hand reached into his pocket. This really was a dangerous line of thinking that he did not wish to go down this evening. Remembering their other goal for the evening, he stared back at Armin. “Shall we heal our wounds?”

“Sure, I’ll treat you first,” Armin offered. He set the brush down. Next he grabbed the sticky medicine and strolled over to the rags he made. “Come over here. Sit on the bed.”

Jean did as he was requested, going to the bed. He took a seat on the edge as Armin opened the bottle with the medicine. The sickly sweet smell wrinkled Jean’s nose, but he held his ground. The first application onto some of the tender wounds had Jean sucking up air. Armin’s tender touch followed by him gently massaging the medicine into wounds relaxed Jean. It seemed that Armin took a page from Jean’s book and managed to both treat and soothe Jean’s wounds and muscles. It did take some concentration to not focus on the fact both boys were only in towels.

As Armin approached Jean’s feet, he tickled his skin. Jean jumped a bit with laughter. “Careful.”

“Nah,” Armin teased, continuing his treatment. Jean looked away from Armin when he got to his thighs, concentrating on the fire. Not having privacy already proved difficult and with Armin massaging him that did not help his situation at all. He bit his bottom lip until Armin finished, tasting a bit of copper. Armin then started tying on the tatters of shirt around the wounds that actually appeared to be open.

“My turn,” Jean grabbed the bottle from Armin, flipping the blond around on the bed. He kept his distance from Armin as he returned the same kind treatment he received. Unlike himself, Armin’s wounds were less serious and his skin not as broken. Regardless he still applied the medicine to areas that looked suspiciously close to cracking or bruising. He waited until he was done applying the medicine and tying wounds with the rags Armin made before slowly massaging Armin’s wounds.

“Goddesses, Marco taught you well,” Armin spoke, pleasure heavy in his voice.

“I taught him,” Jean corrected with a proud smile on his face.

“I didn’t know you could cook either,” Armin further complimented Jean.

“It’s just the basic survival stuff we both learned,” Jean laughed again. “Although if I had actual ingredients I could make better stuff. I learned a lot from my mom.”

“You got good skills though. Anything Eren touched turned to charcoal,” Armin stuck his tongue out in disgust.

“Well not all of us are as gifted as Eren Jaeger,” Jean rolled his eyes, disliking the comparison.

“Some are just more talented in other areas I suppose,” Armin mused.

“I swear to Goddesses if you’re talking about Mikasa,” Jean growled, a little less playful than he intended.

“I’m talking about you, don’t worry,” Armin replied.

“Good,” Jean smiled again as he finished. Rather than attempt to finish their other chores, Jean leaned backwards and fell onto the bed. “You’re right. We really do need a bed.”

Armin rolled next to Jean and stared up at the ceiling. He let out a yawn and reached down for the blanket. He surprised Jean by pulling it over the both of them, finally snuggling closer to Jean’s side. “Told ya.”

“Are you sure we should rest here again?” Jean wondered, placing both his arms behind his head. He desperately did his best to ignore the face him and Armin still only had their towels on still.

“We both slept most of the day, so a little nap shouldn’t hurt. We can get the rest done later before heading back. Besides, it might be the last time we get this chance.”

Content with Armin’s answer, Jean turned onto his side to face the wall of the cabin. He felt Armin shifting in the bed. As sleep began to overtake him he felt Armin’s warm breaths along his spine, easing him into a restful nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fluffy chapter because that's what the story decided to be so I hope you all enjoy where these two are going relationshipwise as well as plotwise because everything is about to go down the rabbit hole. I did say I'm following the plot as best I can but I did want to mention I will have my own twists in there at a few points and you all will be seeing those in the upcoming updates.
> 
> Please leave a like, kudos, reblog or comment! All feedback is greatly appreciated and those that commented last time gave me a lot of motivation to go forward with what I have planned.
> 
> As always thanks for reading and you can find me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/) if you wanna drop an ask or have any qestions.


	6. Move Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _When all you got to keep is strong  
>  Move along, move along like I know you do  
> And even when your hope is gone  
> Move along, move along just to make it through  
> Move along"_
> 
> -Move Along by The All-American Rejects

Jean’s eyes slowly opened, blinking away his sleep. He rolled over onto his side to try and find a more comfy position until his thoughts returned to him. His eyes widened immediately and confirmed his suspicions: Armin was not sleeping next to him. Propping himself up on his elbows, he glanced around the cabin for any traces of his partner. Only a dying flame crackled in the silence of the dark room. The candle was blown out and no trace of Armin, his cloak, or their backpack was found.

Begrudgingly, Jean pushed the covers back, regretting his choice when the cold slowly seeped into his skin. As willed himself to get out of the bed, he found his towel still tied around his waist albeit rather loosely. He quickly slipped off the fabric in favor of actual clothes. While they were dirty, Eren’s rags would have to do until Jean found something his size.

Jean continued his search around the cabin and found many of the supplies from the night before missing including the pots, bandages, and even the jar of salt. Some clothes and blankets remained, but not much else. He peered out the window and found the moon still high in the air, so at least he had time on his side. A brisk walk to the front of the cabin sank his heart when he found their horse to be missing. Armin took the horse?

As his heart and stomach began to sink from the realization, an unhuman shriek broke the relatively peaceful night sky. It curdled Jean’s blood and he slammed the door, retreating to the safety of his lukewarm covers. He curled underneath them as he tried to process that sound.

“T-t-t-the hell?” Jean shook as he tried to regain lost warmth. “Not a wolf… too far south for that. Not a human. At least… oh no. Please let Armin be okay.”

Was Armin going to be alright? Why did he take off without waking Jean? Logically speaking he probably went to scout a path. Or maybe he needed to go back for something. The backpack was missing afterall. Unless he decided to get a head start and leave Jean. He could make it on his own with just his mind. Jean was another mouth. But… that was not Armin. He wouldn’t just abandon Jean to the titans. Even if Jean was a prick who deserved it on occasion. Well, he deserved to get insulted but not eaten.

As time slowly moved on and the piercing shriek faded into the chamber of Jean’s mind, he waited beneath the warmth and false protection of the blankets until a horse hooves echoed into the cabin. Jean carefully poked his head outside the blanket when the clopping came to a halt. He cracked his eyes when he heard hushed commands that most certainly belonged to his partner. An evil thought came into his mind as tiny but firm steps approached the cabin.

Jean’s lips formed a wicked smile as he closed one eye and kept the other barely cracked open to confirm when Armin entered.

Just like he thought, Armin slowly opened the door. He returned with the backpack, collapsing under its own weight and revealing a lack of contents inside it. Through very mechanical and calculated movements, Jean watched as Armin dropped the backpack and his cloak while making little to no sound. His entire ruse was almost foiled when Jean realized he was wearing a long dress, although he couldn’t make out the color in the darkness.

Armin tiptoed to the bed, a small smile on his face as he kept a watchful eye on his partner who seemed to be asleep. Just before arriving at the bed, Jean sprung his trap. Armin had little time to react when Jean’s eyes opened and narrowed their focus on Armin. Like a mouse before a hawk, he was trapped and grabbed as Jean flung the blanket over him.

“Wha?!” Armin gasped before the blanket muffled his yell. Jean wrestled for control before Armin started to try and wiggle his way out, but it was too late for him. Jean sat atop the bundled Armin, content with how easy that worked.

“You gotta be prepared at all times, Armin. I’m disappointed in you,” Jean chided, patting the wriggling blanket underneath him.

“Let me go!” Armin demanded, his voice dulled by the thick blanket.

“I think I’ll rest up here for a few,” Jean feigned a yawn, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. He fell backwards as Armin continued his struggle for freedom. He did not mind the beating against his back.

Armin was able to eventually free his head, popping out right next to Jean’s armpit. “Can you _please_ let me out? We gotta get the rest of the stuff packed up so we can head out.”

“I can’t, I just got comfortable,” Jean said.

“Jean, get up.” Armin shook his head, if only just slightly amused with him.

Jean rolled over and off his friend as Armin pulled himself free. Armin gt to work folding the blanket and Jean watched. “So where’d you go?”

“Back to Jaeger to drop some things off. I wanted to bring more blankets so the horses wouldn’t freeze at night along with us. There just wasn’t enough room in the pack with all the other things,” Armin explained. He finished with the blanket and sat next to Jean, his hands still clutching it. “Did the howling wake you?”

Jean’s carefree smile pulled down into a frown as he pushed himself up. “No, the cold bed did.”

“Now you know how I felt this morning.” Armin offered a weak smile.

“ _I was protecting you!_ ,” Jean scoffed, nudging his elbow into Armin.

“Scaring me more like it,” Armin said with a look of disbelief.

“Anyways,” Jean changed the subject, rubbing his chin, “do you know what that sound was? I thought it was you for a good while.”

“No. It didn’t sound like any animal I know of. Perhaps a new species or a titan?”

Finally standing up, Jean walked over to the backpack to return it to Armin. “Titan?”

“Yeah, an aberrant maybe. Some titans can vocalize sounds but not words.” Armin shoved the blanket into the backpack as he got to his feet. He started collecting various things he left piled around the cabin before that Jean failed to notice during his search. Extra bandages, the medicine, and even the brush.

Jean returned to the nightstand from before to search through it. He began pulling books in an effort to find something from before. “I’m more inclined to think it’s a predator since titans rarely speak. Plus it’s the dead of night. Titans aren’t active at night.”

Armin paused to consider the last statement. After a few seconds he guessed again. “Maybe it was dreaming.”

Jean paid little attention to that idea until he found the book he was looking for. “Titans dreaming? You sound like Hanji now.”

“Maybe but Ymir described her time as a titan being a living nightmare,” Armin replied as he put more thought into it. “Most humans and even animals can react unintentionally in their sleep, even saying things or moving.”

“So you believe that titans ‘sleep’ when night comes?” Jean quirked an eyebrow. He walked back to the backpack and placed the book in it.

“I guess. What would you call it when they sit down at night?”

Jean scratched the back of his head as he thought about it more in depth. “Resting maybe? I wouldn’t say they sleep since I’ve heard stories of them moving even the tiniest bit. Like flowers wilting at night but still able to respond around them.”

“An apt comparison, but this is all purely speculation. Let’s fill our bottles with water and we can go.” Armin pointed to the various bottles and canteens he set on the table when he returned.

\---

By the time the boys returned to the forest, the earliest traces of dawn began to color the horizon a pale yellow and burnt orange. It was eerily strange that such a sight sent chills down Jean’s spine since he really appreciated the daylight and always enjoyed watching the sunrise when he was a cadet. They were up at early enough hours that they almost always saw the end of dawn. Now it brought a sense of foreboding and danger, if only because of the titans that surrounded them.

When he pulled Jeanbo next to Jaeger, he noticed Jaeger practically fall out of the way. “Morning to you too.”

The horse whipped its tail away from the boys, resting peacefully once again. Armin carefully dismounted with the full backpack while Jean kept their horse steady. He saw that there was a pot by laying on the ground next to Jaeger, but didn’t question it. As he looked closer around the horse he began to notice other things as well. Where the harness was tied to the tree appeared to be scraping off a fair amount of bark. Next to Jaeger’s head was another smaller tree with part of its leaves missing and a branch thoroughly chewed on like a little kid with a pencil.

While Jean took in his surroundings, Armin slowly organized the contents of the backpack into the wagon; strategically placing certain objects to absorb shock like the clothes around the more loose materials. However, there was little wiggle room with how full the cart had become over the last few days.

“We need to keep them together,” Jean stated as he dismounted.

“Come again?” Armin said.

“The horses. Jaeger is starting to get spooked easily and there are plenty of signs he’s getting nervous,” Jean gestured to the various marks around Jaeger. “We need to find a permanent settlement for them as well otherwise we’re gonna be horseless.”

“Ah, okay. That makes sense,” Armin nodded. He paused what he was doing when he pulled out a book. “What’s this?”

“Oh it’s an empty notebook. I thought you could use it to record your thoughts or whatever you need.” Jean tied Jeanbo nearby Jaeger. He glanced at the pot by the horse and saw a trace amount of water in there. “I guess you’re taking care of the horses.”

“Huh?” Armin looked up and saw Jean staring at the pot. “Oh yeah. It was part of the reason I came back earlier without you.”

“I was wondering why you abandoned me. Of course it was for Jaeger,” Jean rolled his eyes, a smirk forming on his face.

“You know me.” Armin shrugged as he went along with the good natured joke. “But why do you think I need a book.”

“Something to rest your mind. You’re gonna drive yourself to sleeplessness again if you don’t have something to help ease your fears,” Jean explained. “My mom used to have me write my worries down in a notebook so I could sleep better. I thought maybe you could do that too.”

“Thanks.” Armin smiled as he placed the book on top of the cart.

Jean returned the warm smile with one of his own before grabbing his 3DMG. He quickly donned the gear and prepared to go above. “I’ll see you up top. We can plan our next moves when you’re ready.”

Armin grunted in acknowledgement, giving Jean the signal to fly up. He kept himself busy organizing the cart for their journey and pulling various things aside to keep themselves amused with until they restarted their journey at dusk. He also kept an eye out for a pencil he knew Levi stashed somewhere with their supplies.

\---

“Hey, Armin?” Jean called back, ending the silence on the next leg of their journey. After an uneventful day in the treetops they set out as soon as dusk came.

Armin stared ahead towards Jean.

“Yeah?” he replied, his voice barely overcoming the creaking of the cart and horse clopping.

“Do you think we can make it tonight?” Jean slowed Jaeger down so he could be closer to Armin.

“What do you mean?”

“Get to the woods and find shelter.”

“Should be doable. Depends how fast we can keep Jeanbo moving with all our gear on the wagon,” Armin gestured to the cart bumping behind him, “and if we’re lucky.”

“Lucky?” Jean echoed, disbelief evident in his tone. “We have no luck out here.”

“Well we found that cabin. If we can find shelter tonight all our problems should resolve soon after,” Armin firmly believed.

“That’s a big if,” Jean frowned.

Armin shrugged, “It’s possible. But I’m curious. What did you think of that cabin?”

“Huh?” Jean shot Armin a puzzled look. “What about it?”

“The cabin we stayed at,” Armin continued as he slowed Jeanbo down for a moment, “didn’t it seem a bit off?”

Jean took a few seconds to contemplate what Armin seemed to be insinuating. “Like why there’s a cabin next to the woods in the middle of the country? Hunters maybe. Why?”

“Just humor me. How could they be hunters without any ammunition or weapons?” Armin countered.

“Maybe they took them when fleeing from the titans?” Jean replied.

“Yet there was no sign of a rush to leave? And what about the two sets of clothes?” Armin further pressed him.

Jean rubbed a hand on the back of his, trying to dislodge some ideas. “I mean one was for an adult and the other for a kid so probably a mom and child. Or an older sibling with their younger sibling.”

“Exactly, like an older sister,” Armin nodded.

“Or a crossdressing brother. Like you,” Jean deadpanned back. When he turned back to see Armin giving him a look of disdain, Jean smirked. “What? That blue dress brings out your eyes. You almost look like Krista.”

“Historia.” Armin corrected, the darkness thankfully hiding his flushed face.

“Yeah, yeah, force of habit. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious what your thoughts about it were. Turns out it was a mother and son living in a vacation cabin. Hence the shower, little supplies, and such,” Armin informed Jean.

Jean’s head whipped backwards, eyes widened. “ _You knew?!_ ”

“Yeah. I just wondered what you thought about it.”

“How do you know?”

“It was in the book with the map. It was a journal from the mother. Some noble family from Sina enjoying their time away from the city.” Armin whipped the reins to speed Jeanbo ahead.

Jean copied the action and sped along. “What does that matter though?”

Armin didn’t reply, instead pulling back on the reins. Jeanbo quickly halted, catching Jean and Jaeger off guard. “It doesn’t matter. Just something to think about and keep your wits sharp.”

Jean had to circle Jaeger back around to return to his partner. “Glad you retain your curiosity but what the hell now?”

Armin pointed to the tree where the road forked into several directions. He reached around to his backpack, pulling out a crumpled paper.

Jaeger whinnied, earning a scowl from Jean. He watched as Armin studied the paper and then the tree.

“We’ve already passed this tree twice.” Armin finally spoke.

A loud groan escaped Jean. “So you’re driving us in circles.”

“No, you’re the one navigating,” Armin corrected once more. Ignoring the daggers he received from Jean’s glare, Armin pointed to the right. “Let’s follow this road. It should take us to the town.”

“Why don’t I take the map then?” Jean asked.

“Because I have the supplies and scored the higher marks in cartography,” Armin teased right before spurring Jeanbo and the cart down the correct path.

Jean’s mouth dropped for a brief moment until he realized something important. “Map drawing doesn’t mean you know how to navigate, Armin! Hey!”

\---

As the evening stretched on, Armin took the lead and set a grueling pace for the horses. Time lost from their navigational mistakes would most certainly spell doom if they didn’t at least reach something with height before daybreak. Leaving the woods proved to be a bittersweet moment since being in the open meant progress yet danger. Still, Jean followed Armin’s lead and occasionally rode off the trail for scouting in either direction.

Armin’s focus remained on the partial trail from the woods and into the plains of Wall Maria. Five years was a long time, more than enough for nature to reclaim the path towards the village marked on the map. Based on how little trail remained, it left Armin making the assumption it wasn’t a popular path to begin with. Despite nature’s best attempts, Armin persevered and trampled through the lower grass. Even if nature had took back most the path, the lower foliage still gave a general idea where to go.

Jaeger climbed the hills around the path with little trouble, only pausing for moments to refill on some of the grass. During these tense breaks Jean would use the compass in his pack and Armin’s vague idea of a path to scan the horizon. Most of what Jean found would be limited to grass, tall evergreens, and a sparse amount of titans that dotted the fields around the landscape. The titans sat in the dense grass, with some occasionally collapsed on their backs or stomachs. However as the sky finally began to lighten, Jean spotted buildings in the distance.

“Thank fuck,” Jean muttered, hastily circling back to Armin. He found the blond packing some supplies into his backpack as Jeanbo grazed along the former trail. “The village is ahead.”

“Good, the map didn’t lie then,” Armin said, his eyes practically shimmering from hope. Or more than likely from the brighter sky. “The woods we’re looking for shouldn’t be took much further from there then. Let’s not waste any time.”

“Alright, follow the trail to the village. I’ll go ahead in that direction to see what else I can find. Just hurry because there are plenty of titans in the area and we don’t wanna be here when they wake up.”

A nod from Armin gave Jean all the permission he needed to scout ahead. Perhaps if he made it to the village he could find something else to add to his pack before dawn. Or he could use the extra time to find a shelter for them. He pushed Jaeger towards faster speeds, regardless of the danger of pitfalls in the fields and sped towards the town. The dark blue giving away to lighter hues fueled this need to speed.

Jean guided Jaeger towards another hill for one last pit stop to guarantee he was heading in the right direction. At the top of the hill he smiled at the dilapidated village. It was within reach, and just beyond that a forest.

As eerie as the ruined village crumbling from disuse and titan trampling appeared to be, the forest surrounding the outer edges of the village gave Jean the sense of relief he needed. They were going to be safe. He glanced back to see Armin’s progress, easily finding the small dust cloud above the grass field. However he glanced further back, causing his stomach to dropp.

Just along the horizon, further north of their position was a much larger dust cloud. Something else was moving along in the night with them. Jean rapidly dismounted and knelt in the grass, trying to hide his position in case whatever it was appeared over a hill. Whatever it was, it continued to move north instead of towards them. Waiting until the cloud had more or less dissipated, Jean jumped back on and sped back to Armin.

His heart pulsed the entire way, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He spotted the blond mop of hair easily over the grass and zeroed in. Despite the panicked look on Jean’s face, Armin didn’t slow down. The night only continued to fade.

“Armin, we got a problem!” Jean spoke with an urgent but hushed voice as he approached Armin.

Slowing down but not stopping, Armin waited for Jean to ride along his side in order to continue the conversation. “What do you mean? Are we lost again?”

“No, I saw something,” Jean huffed, “something else that’s moving along with us.”

Shock seized Armin’s face, his eyes widening. “Towards us?”

“Thankfully no, it’s heading north. But we aren’t the only ones out here.” Jean frowned.

“At least it’s going away. What was it?”

“No idea, but it left a large dust cloud. I think the MP sent another squad after us. How did they catch up?”

“We did rest for a few days. I didn’t think we’d left a trail behind but you might be right. Go back towards the village and into the woods just north of it. Try to find some form of shelter and I’ll try to meet you there. One more night in the treetops won’t kill us but I’d rather something else.”

“Fine, just make sure you get there in one piece. Titans are littered around here like garbage and dawn is almost here,” Jean warned.

Armin offered him a warm smile until Jean sped off. After that his mouth dropped as he stared at the sky. Time really wasn’t on his side. He brought Jeanbo to a stop, needing to prepare to the cart one last time.

\---

Keeping to the valleys between the kills, Jean and Jaeger kept a swift pace. They reached the village as gold began to dust the horizon. Sweat ran down Jean’s brow as he took in the surroundings of the village. It was of modest size with plenty of houses and presumably some public buildings. Nowhere near as big as Trost’s city center but big enough for a good population to grow and thrive. The sight of a river running through the center of the village checked one thing off the survival list he and Armin needed.

Rather than stay and admire the scenery, the sight of a titan resting on a house like a crumbling arm chair gave Jean the necessary motivation to follow the road in town alongside the river. If he could follow the water source into the woods he could find a viable base of operations for the two and their steeds.

With a new path to follow, Jean continued to guide Jaeger. What he couldn’t see though, were a pair of eyes from the titan tracing his movements through the town.

Much to Jean’s chagrin, the trail rarely followed the river and eventually headed south. Unable to follow it any further, Jean diverged from it and sped north along the river. He remained far from the banks and in the safety of the grassy fields. Just as the rushing water met the dense brush that ultimately turned into the forest, the sun peeked over the horizon.

Jean’s eyes bounced around him for any sign of movement, muttering a curse when he felt tremors beginning to shake around him, “Shit.”

Despite the initial trembles, they remained far and few in between so he pressed his luck and powered deep into the woods. With no path to guide them, Jaeger’s pace slowed considerably as they moved through thick brush. Jean kept his eyes sharp and ears open through this risky endeavor.

He refused to leave sight of the river, opting to follow it towards what he hoped would be its mountain source. The brush eventually thinned out the further he pushed in, likely due to the tall trees blocking most of the sun. And while the path became easier to navigate so did his field of vision. Straight ahead stood a rock outcropping with water rushing down one side of it. Just as Jean’s heart began to settle, a loud rumble caught his attention. He turned his head to see an eight meter titan running towards him, stomping brush and saplings beneath it.

“So close,” Jean cursed. Rather than panic he took into account his surroundings and continued forward. His left hand dug into his pocket to rub his white good luck charm. “Time to shine, Marco.”

As the titan gained on him, he launched his 3DMG into the trees to his left and right. He flew forward into the treetop, straight into the air, and flipped over the titan. It stumbled forward a few more feet, giving Jean time to anchor his gear into the tree trunk next to the titan. He rocketed forward, equipping his blades. The titan turned around and tried to jump for Jean, who easily maneuvered out of its path and shot himself behind the titan. Unable to change its course, Jean easily sliced at the nape of its neck. With a loud thud the titan fell.

Jean lowered himself back to the ground, pleased to find Jaeger trotting back towards him. He walked over and climbed onto his new favorite horse. Ushering the horse towards the rock face again, Jean sheathed his blades. Jean remained determined to find some place that he, Armin, and the two horses could settle in.

Yet the thought of titans and the dawn continued to plague Jean. He was more than a little worried for his companion. If he had encountered a titan this far into the woods, he could only hope Armin at least made it to the trees in time.

The outcropping climbed into the treetops, giving Jean a sense of curiosity. When he reached the base of the waterfall he managed to see how high it went. His eyes traced the path of the water, finding it falling several stories up. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief

Jean dismounted Jaeger and pulled him near the river. “I’ll be right back. Take a well-deserved break.”

Jaeger responded by shaking his mane.

Instead of climbing the rocks like a normal person, Jean used his 3DMG to scale the dense cliff face much faster.

Each impact chipped away at the rock resulting in Jean closing his eyes to avoid the debris. He reached a small cliff near the rushing water. With some effort he managed to pull himself onto it. Pausing to overlook the forest below, Jean’s blood froze when he felt sunlight warm his body. The early sun had risen over the forest but no sign of Armin could be heard or seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are never as alone as they think~
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this update but the holidays kicked in so time has been sparse. But I hope everyone finds this chapter to their liking. Please comment, kudos, reblog, or feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/). I love criticism and feedback.

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this about a year ago and wrote it out just to get it out of my head. Needless to say much has changed in the manga since then but I'm still going to roughly align some major events in the manga with this as best i can. I haven't posted anything in a while so here's a little something to get past the drought <3
> 
> All comments and feedback are appreciated, on here or on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/).


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